Anne: Hi everybody, it's Anne Duffy and this is the Just DeW It podcast. I'm so happy you're here today with us. And my dear special guest, uh, I would say she's a new friend since I started DeW, and I can't remember if she found me or if I found her. I think I found you, Maggie, but I just have to say that her sage.
Wisdom and the writings that she has done for us since day one have meant so much to me because she pulls deep down inside of her, um, and just lays it all out for us ladies. So, you know, check out her writings in the past, I don't know, three or four years of dental entrepreneur Woman. Lemme tell you a little bit about her before we get started.
Dr. Maggie Augustyn. Is a practicing general dentist owner of Happy Tooth Author and inspirational speaker. She completed her formal dental education earning a doctorate of dental surgery from the University of Illinois at Chicago. Prior to that, she was awarded two bachelor degrees from UIC and Benedictine University.
She's also an alumnus of. Dawson Academy. Dr. Augustyn has published over 50 articles in the last two years. She's a columnist for Dentistry Today, publishing Monthly and Mindful Moments. She has also written a Dental Economics and is a frequent contributor for Dental entrepreneur, woman and Dental Entrepreneur.
The Future Dentistry? Yes. Yep. Dr. Maggie Augustyn also has a strong social media presence and has presence and has been a guest on multiple podcasts. And she is just an amazing woman in dentistry. Please help me welcome Dr. Maggie Augustyn. Hello, Maggie. Hi Anne. How are you? I'm doing so well. 50 articles in two years.
Well, I, the first time you ever wrote for me, I remember thinking OMG. You are a phenomenal writer and I think I remember writing that to you when you sent it to me. Like, I hope this is okay. And I'm like, hello. Anytime you wanna write, write for us because you have a gift. And that is a gift, Maggie. It, it really is.
So thank you for all of your contributions. I. And, and especially for this edition, I'm gonna hold it up. So, uh, and everybody, if you're looking on YouTube, 'cause I think our podcasts are on YouTube now, but this, we have the, the amazing Hazel Glasper and her three colleagues, Bethany, uh, Beatrice, and uh, Dana on this edition and their story.
And then Maggie wrote an article and actually. It wasn't meant to be in this edition, Maggie. You know, we were gonna save it for the next one. And it was so good. I'm like, this just fits perfectly into this edition of especially females with friendships. Right, because you wrote, and I forget when it was 'cause I, let me go back and see when that was.
'cause I, I started the beginning, it was in April, 2021, about a relationship that left you pretty broken. And look at you now. You've, you've done a lot of digging. You've done a lot of soul searching, a lot of help from your friends, um, colleagues, business colleagues, and, um, you know, coaches. How'd you get from that being so down and, and distraught and, and alone to where you are now?
Maggie: It, it took 10 years. Um, if not longer actually, because the, the, the first article I wrote for you I think was called Broken. And, um, I had a, a friend just walk away from me with no explanation, my best friend in dental school. And, um, so that was in 2004 and I did not come outta my shell until probably right at Covid 2020.
So it took 16 years for me to, in some way heal and trust myself. Into believing that I was worthwhile and that I was worthy of having a friend, of being a friend. Um, and, and it took some very special people to make me realize that as well. Um, it took some coaching, uh, it, it took some, you know, very generous women, um, other dentists, women, uh, to come out and make me feel like I was, uh, worth loving.
Anne: Yeah. You know, I, I, when I read that, I try, I, I, I think I reflected back on my life and hope that I never did that to anybody else. Because, you know, sometimes we don't know what we're doing when we're, when we are walking away. And I thought about that Maggie and I also thought about a couple of experiences that I've.
I, we were talking earlier before you get started, like people can't really believe that maybe somebody walked away from me and, and didn't wanna be my friend, and I just, it, it killed me. It killed me and, and my husband. He was so sick of hearing me talk about it. Right. I, I mean, he's not the person that's gonna help me get out of that.
And, and everybody that knows me knows I love Tom more than anything. He's just my buddy, my buddy, my best friend. But he was, he couldn't help me. I really, I could have used, um, a coach like Lonnie or a therapy session with somebody to just help me shake out of it. Like, I, I just couldn't believe it. Like, who doesn't, why doesn't anybody, why doesn't she like me?
Or why is she turning her back on me? It is a very vulnerable and a delicate, uh, dance that we walk with ourselves when that happens. And I think that writing about it, um, probably helped you and also is gonna help somebody else maybe get out of that funk or that feeling of unworthiness a little sooner.
Maggie: Yeah, I, I mean the, the fact that you allow me to process my thoughts. Uh, to by, you know, process my own imperfections and shortcomings and writing has helped me personally very, very much. But the hope is, of course, that as women specifically read about this, my, my only purpose in life really is to make sure that nobody else feels as alone as I have felt growing up.
And. And, and so that's part of the reason why I write part. It's part of the reason why I'm willing to be as open as I am, why I'm airing my dirty laundry, right? It, it's just so that I am hoping that it, it, it's not that my experiences are that much more special, it's that by opening up, I am hoping that I can feel some, I can allow someone to feel less alone in whatever journey they're on, you know, whatever road they're walking.
Anne: Well, I think that's happening. I mean, in, it's so interesting that you're writing mindful moments for dentistry today because that's kind of always been historically like a, uh, you know, a man's magazine, if you will. I mean, they're, they're starting to bring some women in and you were the first one. But to be able to have that, it just goes to show, um, first of all the gift that you have in your words, and also that.
They saw something in your words that would resonate with their audience, and I think that's such a huge. Uh, a huge, uh, step for, for them, for men, for women, for our profession in dentistry. So, kudos to you that, I don't know, somehow you got in there. I, I
Maggie: got extremely lucky. And, and the new editor of Chief, uh, uh, uh, the new, uh, chief and editor, or editor in Chief of Dentistry today, uh, Paul Stein.
He is extraordinary. I mean, he, he is out here welcoming and inviting women to be part of the conversation. I don't know that I've, I've seen that, um, with another predominantly male publication or entity. Um, and, and so I'm always very, very grateful to him, but also give him tremendous credit for listening, uh, and, and making us feel like we belong.
And, and in fact, he's, he's, he is, um, publishing a, a. I believe it's in June of this year, a women's edition of Dentistry Today. I mean, how wonderful. Um, so I've been asked to write in that, and I'm writing an article in that about, um, the traditional roles and how they've changed, uh, specifically being a breadwinner and things like that, and how that affects our day to day life and just the heavy burden.
We have to carry being all things to all people. And, and so that's something to look forward to. But, but, but yes, it's, it's, uh, I, I am very grateful to, to Paul for recognizing that, not just in me, but he's also had, you know, more women on the cover and, and invited more women to write for the magazine.
Anne: I just love it.
I love it. I think they, they, they are doing a great job and I think dentistry, because we are being, I don't know, taken over by women, if you wanna say that. I mean, I, I like saying that because it's like we have 56% of the graduating dentists are women, and you know, we know our teams are, I. All women. Do you have any males on your, on your dental team right now?
Maggie: I don't at the moment. Um, I have a male partner, but, uh, every now and again, we've had a male hygienist. We've had a male dental assistant, we've had a male front desk.
Anne: That's cool. So,
Maggie: um, it, it kind of, it's, it's kind of nice, uh, to, to throw that, uh, every now and again, uh, to, to get that little mix of energy.
Yeah.
Anne: To bring that in a little bit because I think women are interesting in their friendships. I mean, I, I don't, you know, I, I, it's, it's a, they can hurt you more than you can than you could imagine in just the female, um, friendship and, and, um, circle and tribe, if you will. And I, and I know that, you know, sometimes we have to walk away from a relationship.
And why and when do you walk away from a relationship? Your experience?
Maggie: Experience. I think, you know, thinking about this specific podcast, and even as I was writing the article, I, I think I found two ways to decide to leave a relationship. Um, one of them, um, Lonnie Grass taught me about, and it, it's when two people are together in a relationship, whether it is a friendship or, or, or a romantic relationship, and one grows.
The other doesn't. Um, and they grow at, at different rates and they no longer align. That I think might mean that something needs to be tweaked in that relationship. One or two. It's time to walk our separate ways. Right? And then the other time is, um, I think when you find yourself in a cycle of resentment and forgiveness.
Anne: Resentment
Maggie: and forgiveness, resentment, forgiveness, hope, um, romanticizing the relationship, thinking and praying that something is gonna get something, is going to be different. And then coming back full circle and realizing that despite the forgiveness and the, despite the hope, there's still a resentment and, and you can't get past that resentment.
And I think that's another, that's another reason. To, to leave a relationship. But I think one of the reasons why we stay in a relationship, um, is because we romanticize them so much and because, and I don't just mean romantic relationships, I mean friendship. And by romanticizing, I suppose, I mean. You know, we all have an idea of who we want our friend to be and who we want to be as the friend.
And we just keep hoping and praying that this relationship, which we might hold so close to our heart, will end up being that very special relationship. Um,
Anne: that it's gonna be different this time, that it's
Maggie: gonna be different this time. Yeah. Whatever we,
Anne: yeah. Wake up in the morning and, and our friend that.
Continues to disappoint us, make us feel like crap. Um, every time you walk away, you know, I always said, you know, it's like maybe they'll have a lobotomy and they'll be this new person, um, that's going to not let us down again, because I think that's not a good friend, right? I mean, I, you know, we do, we need people like that, that constantly, um, have a.
Questioning our self-worth and questioning our movements, questioning what we're doing. And maybe, and, and I dunno, it takes two to tango, I guess that's the other thing, right? It does take two to tango, tango. Um, so I, I, I guess that's, that's one a good reason to walk away is there. Okay. So what We stay because we think it's gonna be different.
Maggie: We stay because we think it's gonna be different because we have hope. And hope it is this thing that kills us. And whether it's, like I said, whether it's a marriage, whether you know, um, or whether it's a friendship. You just, you know, a, a friend cancels on you so many times and you just have enjoyed every interaction with them.
But, but you know, when a very real way they've, they've let you down in other ways. And this is that person really choosing you or, you know, when you're an afterthought. Right? Mm-hmm. Um, so keeping this idea of what you think a relationship should be now, nothing is perfect. Nothing is, is going to be perfect, and I am just as imperfect as, as my friend.
Um, and there's a way to kind of, um. Relationships Absolutely can be mended. And so can friendship and, and something that you said, you know, you know, in terms of choosing people who choose us, are these people uplifting? You? Are, are they supporting your hopes and dreams? Right? Um. And, and if, and if it feels like you just have to pretend to be somebody else, you know, whether or not you're not getting enough attention.
Um, those are some other reasons why you should probably walk away. You need to be getting something, uh. From that relationship, something that builds you up, something that allows you to grow, something that gives you joy, that something that makes you wanna wake up in the morning.
Anne: Yeah, I mean, there, there's okay if every once in a while you're gonna have a, a little tiff here or a little, you know, like, oh, I didn't, you know, they didn't pick up, or, or something a little slight of, of, um, you know, a slight, if you will.
But if it just continues and continues and every time you put yourself. Against it again, against this time, maybe this time, and it just, after how many times? I mean, it's just got to, it. It's, it's got a wear on you and I think it. You have to look deep within yourself and say, no, I'm just not, this isn't, this isn't working for me anymore.
And there's nothing wrong with that. There is just not working for me anymore. There's a difference. And you can walk away from a friend. Um, I wanna say this, my, I, I don't, my sister's gonna listen to this. When we, we, she came in for the, um, the, she re this weekend we had this baby shower for Katie. And it was wonderful.
It was wonderful. But we had a little, like, a little argument and she was so mad at me and I was mad at her. And, um. We have the best relationship, but we're, but the point I'm making is like we both said, we were sorry. Sure. We were, we were upset with each other. We both actually, we both agreed to disagree.
Yes. And it was very, I won't go into why, but it's just sister stuff. But we both hugged and made up and we said we were sorry we didn't mean to hurt each other. And it lasted about, you know, 25 minutes. But. One of the principles would do it. This reminds me also, Maggie, of one of the principles will do, be kind.
Don't be a jerk. So I think, like with my sister and I, she's the most wonderful person in the whole world. So she knew that we, we knew that we were getting a thing, but we, of course we were, we weren't jerks about it. We were just, okay, this is how we feel and. I'm sorry, and we make up. So a friend that continues to hurt you, makes you feel bad, you know, you need more, I mean, it's not really about you.
It's like, do they see this as happening? You're, you're really being, I think we don't need to hang out with people that are being jerks. And you know, when I look back on the relationships that have ended that have hurt my feelings, mostly they just never got the fact that they could put their arms around me and say, Hey.
I'm here for you, whatever you need. Right? It was never, it never came to that. It was just kind of like, well, this isn't working and it doesn't work. It's not working again, and today's not working. So in other words, I think that's easy. When you look back on those relationships, we think, God, why did I waste so much time?
I. Right. Feeling bad about it when I, I, it was just a nanosecond in our lives and we wish we could have moved forward. And that's what I think your article is going to help a lot of women see that wallowing in that and I, the, the term is it, it minimalizes it because it's bigger than that. Right. It's, it's not something you can get out of.
Right. Because it's just wake up at two o'clock in the morning, you think what could done differently, right? Yep. But it does help when you know you're not alone in these circumstances and these relationships and, um, and you know, and just again. That makes me seem, you know, when I read that first article that you wrote in 2021, that someone just like ghosted you with, I think that's just being mean.
That's just a mean person. We don't need to be hanging out with anybody like that. And why do we even waste time thinking about what could have been and why? Um, but that's just human nature, right? We want people to like us and we have hope and we have positive, and you know, we want to think the best in people.
And there's nothing wrong with that either. We can't change that about ourselves.
Maggie: And when you find people telling you, you know, oh my, and and again, like this relationship that I wrote about in in in Broken, I can't tell you how many times my husband would be like, my God, when are you gonna get over this?
It's been like 15 years. Or, you know, but that's how broken we can be from, you know. Being in a relationship with somebody else and having that person walk away from. So when you are walking away from a relationship, be, you know, do it in a way so that you're not going to irreparably damage the other person either.
Right. And you know what, what you said about my article Broken and I, I'm sure I've, I, I, I, I must have, we all have done something like that. We all have been. Broken and we've all done the breaking, right? I mean, we can't just sit there and pretend that it's only been a one way street. We've hurt other people also.
Um, but you know, this is kind of where we come in with this whole thing. Our, you know, our relationships meant to last a lifetime and, um. I don't think they are. There's a, i, I don't know if you ever read the book Present Over Perfect Life-changing book. It's, uh, it's by Shauna Quist. I'll send you the information if you'd like, but she talks in there about there being a season and a reason for everything.
There's a season and a reason for a relationship, for a friendship. Uh, you could be in a particular time in your life where this is what you're into, and, and this is what you know. You love doing, and you might find camaraderie with, with one person, or there could be, you know, um, a reason for you to hang out and, and, and to be with another person.
Like when your kid is on a volleyball team, you end up being friends with a volleyball ma'am. Right. That could be a reason, uh, or that could be a season. But, um, I, I don't, I mean, you know, I've been with my husband for 25 years and I hope it's a lifetime relationship, but. Not every relationship is meant to last that long.
I don't, I don't think, and I think holding ourselves accountable or holding ourselves to a point where we think that that's how long relationships are meant to last makes it that much more difficult to walk away from some of these things that aren't serving us. And I don't mean, I suppose I shouldn't say serving us.
They're really hurting us.
Anne: Yeah. I was gonna say held hostage to those feelings, right?
Maggie: Yes, yes. Yes.
Anne: How do you get out of that? Right? And, and every and, and you and honestly as, as sweet as you are and as deep as you think, how do you get out of it and keep everybody whole? Yeah. You know, because we are good people, but sometimes it's not.
And there's, and you know, that's the other thing we were talking about that 'cause you're speaking in our retreat, which I'm so excited. Yay. But how do you, um. Hold yourself like worthy. We're we're better than that. I mean, and you have to, you have to bring love in. And when it doesn't feel like that, I mean, there are seasons.
I agree with you and you've gotta ride it out. We, we, we, you know, everybody rides out certain parts in our lives and you ride it out and it all works out. But there's other times when it's just like, this is just. I dunno. Just not serving me. And if it's not serving me, then I'm not gonna be good for anybody else.
Yeah. I'm not gonna be a good mom. I'm not gonna be a good dentist. I'm not gonna be a, a good new friend. Right. A good old friend or anything. I mean, because them, some of that stuff can really, you know, I just think it's, again, again, I. Knowing what is good for us and what isn't good for us, and, and there are some toxic relationships that aren't good for us, and it's okay.
That's, that's just fine. We're not meant to be best friends with everybody. And I think also, you know, looking at the strengths thing that we did, you know, I. There are some women, if you are later and that's in your top, you know, five or whatever, then you, you can take a friend from kindergarten and be with them their your entire life.
That just isn't everybody though, you know? And sometimes I think, you know, I, I look at someone that has this, this group of like five women that they do be the, the beach trip and then they do once a year and all that. And they're like, that's just never been me. I just, I, you know, and I think that's really cool.
Um, but it made me think about when you said there's a season and a reason for everything and you can, you know, you, you can kind of like still have your friends, but you don't have to, you know, be with them every second. And I think that's why you, you, I like a wide net. I'm got a wide net of people and um, you know, I just, I think it's so interesting that, that the friendships that we have through life, when you look back and as we get older, Maggie, I feel like, I don't know, don't you think that as we get a little bit more.
Assured of ourselves, it's easier to create great friendships with women. I, I feel like my friendships that I've created over the past 20 years are so much richer than they were in the first 40 years of my life, or, I don't know, 50, you know, something like that. Uh, and, and I, and I feel like there's more room for that because we, we've all been through a lot and we give people more grace.
Yeah. It's a, it's a lot about grace and I think the older we get, the more that we realize that, you know. Progress. And you said it progress and I like to say not perfection.
Maggie: Yeah. Um, I, I think yeah, the more we know ourselves, right, um, the more we're willing to share ourselves with others and the less we're like, stumbling over our own, um, insecurities.
Like, I mean, when we were kids, when we were in our twenties, I mean, there so many other things were important. You kind of wanted to pretend to be somebody that somebody would accept. Right? Right. Um, or you felt insecure about maybe being accepted for one thing or another. And then as we get older, I mean, yeah.
Take it or leave it. Um, yeah, exactly.
Anne: This is, I don't give a flip. This is who I'm, yeah, yeah. Like me for who I'm like, like, try to change me now. Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, we're always trying to improve. There's nothing wrong with that. But even the kids now that I, we have adult kids and I'm like, Hey guys, look, this is me.
I, I might. I might say something that might just without thinking and I don't, you know, just take me for what I am and know that, you know, give me the benefit of the doubt. That's another due principle. Give the benefit of the doubt. No judging. Oh, which we could do that with everybody. I try to go back on that because everybody's got something.
Might have a bad day, but it's still, again, I think it goes back to if you have somebody in your life. That consistently makes you feel bad, consistently, doesn't help you, consistently, doesn't be your encourager, your love that's telling you something right there that you can do. You, you just, okay, I love you.
Bye-bye. Good luck. Yeah. You know, dust your sandals off and move on to the next town. Yeah. You want this person?
Maggie: I think there's a new saying out there that says like. Kiss them and bless them, or, uh, something like that. But yeah, I wish you the best. But, um, I also wish myself the best.
Anne: Mm.
Maggie: Um, and even some of these relationships that I wrote about in, in this article, I still wake up and I think about them.
Anne: Hmm. I
Maggie: still, I still wake up and I miss them. I still wake up and I still wonder if I did the right thing by walking away. But you know, in the end of the day, it just feels, I'd rather be alone than be stuck in a relationship with someone that is constantly taking away. From my self worth.
Anne: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
They're dipping into your cup. Right? And so you, you, your cup is full and every time they see you, they take a big gold soup spoon and pour out some of that good feeling, right? I mean, this is like, no, we, we want people that are going to pour into our cup and not take from our cup. Well, you know, reading and writing and you're so good at all that, and, and.
And you've written so much about this because it's obviously, you know, you're sensitive, Maggie, and you're so loving and, and, and hopeful and I know you have a great faith. So I walking away from relationship, is it oversimplification? I.
Maggie: Yeah. As I, you know, I, I can only write for so long, right? I can't give you 6,000 words.
I can't give you 60,000 words. And, and I, as I was even writing it and reading it and editing it, I, I just thought, this does not do it justice. I don't think I have really spent enough words explaining how difficult walking away is, how you're allowing the hope. And the faith that you had in this person and this relationship, all of a sudden falter.
It's like being left alone because you know at least you have your hope. Okay? If you might, you might not have the most ideal relationship, but at least you have the hope that maybe one day this relationship will be better. But when you choose to walk away from the relationship, you walk away from the hope.
There will be someone out there that's going to love you as much as you love them. And again, I'm not necessarily talking about romantic relationships, I'm also talking about friendships. Right? Um, there's so much hurt. There's, there's so much distraught feelings. There's, there's heartache, um, there's the difficulty and the rethinking, the dread and the fear, you know, of being alone.
'cause even when you make a change in your life, it's really hard to go from point A to point B, right? I mean, it's it, you know, you, you try to give up sugar, you know, like, uh, it, it's whenever you make a change, whenever you create a change, it's that it's that hard. And so when you walk away from someone, you miss them.
You know, that initial rolling out of how of, of, of choosing yourself or choosing people that choose you. Um, that is very, very, very difficult and, and I don't know that I can, you know, ever put that into words. Your heart knows that those of us that have been through that, your heart knows that. Your heart remembers what that felt like.
Right? Um, that's why when you read some of these things, it's, it's emotionally igniting. Because you remember how much that hurt and you never wanna go through that again. But to say that, you know, just because, um, somebody walked away from you and you're not just to, you know, say I, I never wanna beat in another relationship again.
Uh, I mean, I kind of, that would suck. And I, I feel like I did that for those 16 years that I didn't choose to have friendships with women. And, and perhaps I lost out. Um,
Anne: you know, but now you're, you know, I mean, I think it's walking in your life and again, you know, when you think back on it, it's not, well, you can't go back, right?
You can't go back. And now you've discovered that there are good people, there are good, uh, people out there. Women, I mean women, I mean, like I say, call aew, right? I mean, just call AEW and, and share it with somebody here that's gonna understand. 'cause we've all been there and we've all had that hurt. Some people take it on more emotionally than others.
So you have someone that is, it just, it stuck with you and that, so I'm, so it's, you're so brave that you realize you can't deal with that totally on your own and you've reached out to people to help you do that. To have you, you know, set you straight. 'cause sometimes it's like, am I crazy? And you need people to be, that maybe aren't.
Your real tight circle, but on your, on the second level of your circle to be able to like, pull you back and say, look, it's okay. It's okay. You, you know, I recognize that you're feeling this is, but it's gonna be fine. Because the older we get, the more valuable, I especially feel like our female friends are in our lives.
I, I really feel like that's something that's, that's starting to take on. And you're still, you're so, you're a lot younger than I am, but I could just say right now. Um, you know, I could feel that it's better because I guess we've all been through something and people aren't so judgy anymore and it's not like, I don't know, it's, you look back on life and you say, that is so not important.
Some of the things that we worried about and, and I love the fact that you were saying also trying to be something, put that, that, uh, you know, square peg in a round hole, right? Oh, yes. And, and you know, we. Are who we are and we're perfect the way God made us. We do our best. And you know, darn it, we have to be true to ourselves.
We have to be able to be true and not try to show up being somebody else. So somebody likes us better. I mean, it's just, it's, it's absolutely a waste of time because they're gonna find out anyway the true person if they get to know you. Just, you know, a little bit better because you, I know, uh, you wear a lot of your emotion on your sleeve and your heart comes through Maggie, you, you know, it's just, it's, and you know, that's, that's beautiful and, and I, I'm so ha happy that you're kind of on the other side of this and, and, and I think you can recognize it now and it starts to like, well, it is because you now you realize these people, uh, certain relationships aren't serving.
The relationship. We could just say that not just serving me, they're not serving either one of us. Yeah. Because you can recognize that. So I think that's, that's cool. And it's easy as you get older, you can walk away because you know what there's. There's like, you know, 50 other women I know that they wanna get to know you better.
Yeah. So, you know,
Maggie: that, and IUI used to think that the world was kind of divided into two types of women, right? The, the women that are real catty and real jerks, and then the good women. And I think what I've come to realize is those women that are caddy and they're jerks. I, I think if you get to know them in a different way, we truly are all the same.
It's just a matter of perspective and what we allow each other to see. Mm-hmm. Um.
Anne: And so there is good in everybody. There is good in some, and I and some people, well, this is what I say, but do Maggie. I said, you know, and I've said this, I almost every podcast is like, okay, so everybody's welcome, right?
Everybody's welcome in my circle. But some people will only stay for cocktails. Not everybody's gonna stay for dessert. Love it. And so, and, and that's okay. And I have to be okay with that. But it, it still doesn't mean, it doesn't hurt me when somebody, like, when they, they, uh, don't renew their membership or they ghost me on a call or, you know, whatever, that's, that still kind of gets to me.
But it's again, it's okay. I just have to like look, you know, I'm not everybody's cup of tea or we're not everybody's cup of tea. So you'll find your own cup of tea, and I bless you on your cup of tea, you know, and just go find your, your, your style, your mojo. Um, and I wish you well, but, but remember to be loving and kind to, you know, that that's important and that's important.
Um, that then of course I'm, I'm acting like I'm being all judgy, you know, I, I have to watch it. I, you know, no matter what I do, I still have to like be careful about, you know, you know, how I think and, um, and how I. Just present who I am. And I think we all have to think about that sometimes. You know, it just, again, we try to do our best and we can fall short, but the key is we give each other, um, a little rope, if you will, to fall short and then come back.
Right. Yeah. That's okay. That's a, that's a friend. And,
Maggie: and you know, I bet the way that we look at ourselves, we're way harder on ourselves. Than other people would be, unless they're trying to, to judge us, then, you know, um, they'll look at us in an entirely inaccurate way, but, um, we're just so hard on ourselves.
Um,
Anne: they say, would you, would you say that to a friend? No, I wouldn't say exactly.
Maggie: Yeah. You know, think to yourself what you would say to a friend.
Anne: Yeah. Yeah. But I, I think this has just been a great conversation today. And I mean, anyone that's listening just know that, you know, there are people out there that are here to help you to love you.
Um, there are good people everywhere, and I know you feel the same way. I mean, you hope always through just. And, um, you know, we take the hurt and we make something good out of it. And I that that's what you've done with your writing and your speaking. Know, you, you, you're making a difference because you're helping a lot of women.
And I hear it a lot. I mean, the, the hurt that the women feel sometimes because we are sensitive beings. We are empathetic. We love harmony, we love people. And we like people to like, you know, we, everyone wants to be liked. There's nobody out there that doesn't really wanna be like, doesn't really care about it.
So, um, you know, if you're out there, you know, smile at someone today, make their day, be a good person. Um, if you've hurt somebody, say you're sorry. And then if you're in a relationship, you know, and it's not working, it's okay.
Maggie: It's okay to walk away. And you know what? Who knows? By walking away and creating that space, I.
Maybe you'll find another relationship that is, you know, where you are able to fulfill the kind of friendship that you want to give to someone, and it can actually be received as it should be. Um,
Anne: I, I believe that that is, that is true. I think that's a, a truism, and I, and I see it and you've seen it.
You've seen it in your life going, going forward. So any parting words for those that are listening, that are kind of thinking about some of the relationships they're in right now? Like, Hmm, maybe I'm not gonna, may I just need to think about, um, is it a good time to, to stay there? Should I stay or should I go?
Right?
Maggie: Yeah. Right. I, I, I think the tumultuous changes that we all go through as people in our friendships or in ourselves, uh, personally, emotionally. It is part of the human condition. There will always be hurt. We will always be hurt by something at some point, and we will also do the hurting at some point towards someone.
And one of the things that I think has helped me the most in navigating some of that is coming to understand that just because this is happening to me does not make me a bad person. And just because this is happening to me does not make me the only person. So, you know, the ups and downs that we go through in our lives, in our relationships, in our love, um, in our companionships, tho those are normal.
We all go through them. Um, it, it is part of being human. Um, that will never change. And, and it gets easier as we get older because we become more self-assured or, or just. We just know how to deal with life a little bit differently. I, I think some of these things happening when we're younger, uh, hurt a little bit more than they do as we age.
But that doesn't mean that it's, you know, not without heartache. I.
Anne: Not without heartache and that heartache will carry us through to, to love more fully. Yes. To be loved more fully. And, um, and I loved it. I, you know, I, I, I always think life is gonna, is long. You know, so we just, um, look to the future for some, some good things and, and know ourselves and know that we're worth it.
Maggie: Yes. Yes. Be worthy of choosing those who choose you.
Anne: Yeah. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Maggie, thank you so much for being with me today. Thank you Anne. Looking us up for sharing, you know, sharing something that's, that's been on all of our hearts at one time or another. And, um, and I just appreciate you so much and I can't wait to, um, see you up in front of the room at the retreat.
Feeding and pouring into all of us is gonna be beautiful. I can't wait either. Yeah. Oh my gosh. All right, darling, well, we'll be looking for you on your monthly, uh, you know. Renditions of Dentistries today and more coming from dental entrepreneur and dental entrepreneur, woman, and all the things that you're doing, uh, Maggie and everybody that's listening today, remember to keep doing you.
Thanks everybody. I'll see you the next time. Bye, Maggie. Thank you. Bye-bye. Thank you.
