Anne: Hello everyone. It is Anne Duffy and welcome to the Just DeW It podcast. I am so happy that you're with me today. I have just. Such a dear friend with us today. We met right when I started do almost eight years ago. I remember meeting in, a coffee shop and just hearing her story and she's been with us ever since.
Let me tell you about her before we get started. She's an oral cancer survivor and advocate. Ms. Amber Young and turned her rare diagnosis into a mission. This mother, wife, and entrepreneur now travels the country sharing her unique story with dental professionals emphasizing the vital role of oral cancer screenings and the patient experience, founder of a wellness clinic.
Amber's also certified a certified health and life coach and personal trainer, guiding others toward their own. New normal. Please help me welcome my dear, dear friend, and just overall amazing person. Amber Young. Hello Amber. Hello, Anne. How are you? Oh, honey, I'm so good. I have so many goosebumps introducing you because I just remember meeting you the very first time.
it was de and DeLucas. It was a lovely little coffee we had. And I want you to tell your story because. When you told your story to me. Well, I didn't know it. I didn't know your story, Amber. And now I'm really thinking about this. I remember when we were checking out to get our coffees or whatever, or maybe it was even at the end, I said, what happened to your cheek? Do you remember me asking you that?
Amber: I do and a lot of people do naturally. After my first surgery in 2015, we met about two years later, after, you know, I was healed and moving along.
My cheek was much larger because I did have a reduction. I had one done at year three. Okay. So yeah, I remember.
Anne: I think back on that and you think, first of all, you should never ask those. Questions because we don't know what's going on.
But then the story came out I felt like that was a bit of a faux pa, but it's just about who you and I are. We're just, what we say and we feel we just comes right out and we always say it and ask it with love. But let's just start at the beginning.
Walk us through that moment How did it all start?
Amber: we were kind of a nomadic family and moved to South Carolina when I was pregnant with my son. So we went to the local dentist on a $99 coupon, right? New patient exam. Everybody sends him out.
And my husband was in one operatory. I was in one and my daughter was in the other. So we got offered our basic new patient exam with a panoramic, and they offered. Additional screening using a device for $20. I said, sure, for an oral cancer screening. Then the hygienist and the dentist came into the practice room and they said, you know, we've noticed something's wrong with both of these.
There's a dark spot that shouldn't be there, and it's unusual and we need you to go see an oral surgeon or someone else to get better imaging because they couldn't quite do 3D imaging there. So they gave me a referral. The office manager did as you do, right? And I didn't go I didn't feel bad. I didn't have any signs or symptoms. I didn't know what dark spot really meant, and my insurance wasn't taken where they referred me to. Well, Like a week later, the practice office manager called me up and asked me how my. Referral went. I said, oh, I didn't.
I didn't go. She lost her mind, Anne on me, and she said, this is unacceptable. And she said, I will find you someone who take your insurance. This is important. You need to go do this. And I was like, okay. Crazy lady. So I just let her find me another place. Well, When I got there and they did the 3D imaging, that dark spot ended up being a five centimeter mass.
Growing inside my jawbone, but it was internalized and it was in the back. I didn't have any pain. It was pushing the nerve out of the way. And it was breaking my jawbone simultaneously 'cause it was spreading it apart. So the oral surgeon told me he did pathology and that it was too large to remove there, that I needed to be referred to MUSC in Charleston, which is a fantastic teaching hospital about three hours away.
So. Today, April 9th, 10 years ago, I was having my tumor removed. Yep. And literally today and oh, you know, we went in and the, head of the dental school said to me, I know that you're concerned about the pathology, and I said no, no, no. The oral surgeon told me it was fine, everything was okay. He said, no.
There was a very fine print at the bottom of your pathology report that said this did not react well with the K 19 die. Needs to be reassessed. So he said, we're taking the tumor out and we're gonna send it off for biopsy. No worries. Told my husband, it was round, it was perfectly clear. There was no nodules that we didn't have anything to worry about, and he'd see us in two weeks with the results.
So we left. Everything was fine. Then two weeks came April 21st. We made it back down to Charleston, took the kids with us, everything. 'cause, everything's fine. And when we walked into the room, there were six doctors and the interns of the dental school were lining the hallway.
And I looked at my husband and I said, this isn't gonna go. How not a good sign go. And so at that time, the doctors. Told me basically that they had no idea what to do. This cancer was 95% aggressive. There was less than 75 cases in the whole entire world, and all of them were in third world countries in the early 1980s, and that there was no one alive with this cancer, that they didn't know how to treat it because chemotherapy and radiation didn't work since it was a cellular cancer.
And that it was 95% aggressive and killed everybody within five years. And that basically, they didn't know what to do. So they said, We're gonna send you home. We've gotta go to tumor board, we've gotta call oncologists. We have to hold meetings. We have to figure this out. And honest to God, that was probably the scariest day of my life.
I did what everybody would do. I hit Google and Google was like, Nope. I don't know what this is. So we went to the beach and we drove home. That was probably the longest drive. I. Thanks to you right, and being in the do retreat and things I learned through my Clifton strengths test that I am very data focused person, so I immediately have gone out and I bought all the case studies, all the history, anything I could find on this type of cancer, I call the CDC.
I did everything I could possibly do, and there was nothing. There was no support groups, there was no help. There was. No information. All the trials and case studies were horrid. Everyone passed away. And I didn't know what to do, so we waited. I. We waited a month and then on Memorial Day the doctors called and told me what their plan was.
They said that they were going to cut out my entire jaw on the right side, that it was gonna be probably a 23, 25 hour surgery that I had to give up. A part of my body because they were gonna slice my carotid in my jugular. So I had to either give up my fibula or my scapula for the arteries to reconnect.
And they were going to do the best they could and take the widest margins possible, and we would see what happened. I was scared.
Anne: Oh my gosh. And I, I can't imagine that month the waiting with your husband and you had your daughter and your son. How old were they?
Amber: Yeah. My daughter was eight. My son was one. He was just learning how to walk and do all the things. Had to make a lot of hard decisions. We did all sorts of things. I had to take my daughter and cut off all of her hair. because I wasn't gonna be able to use my arms and brush her hair and put it in a ponytail and take care of my daughter. Oh. Oh my goodness. I wasn't gonna be able to do anything.
It was the choice between, first I was gonna have my whole jaw removed, so I wasn't gonna be able to eat or talk for an undetermined amount of time. Then it came down to the basic necessities. I need to be able to walk. We have a two story house, so I chose my scapula, so it was my left arm. it was 51 staples and stitches.
They took out all of my muscle, which was what they implanted in my face. And then the bone, which was what they attached my titanium brace to, so I had to go through occupational physical therapy to learn how to reuse my arm. I couldn't drive, I wasn't allowed to do anything, but because of that I wasn't able to take care of my daughter.
I couldn't brush her hair. I couldn't do any of those things, let alone speak to her. So we cut off all her hair, we did all the things the universe gave us a great journey 'cause we had to go to Charleston and the week that we had to go for the surgery. Was the Emmanuel Baptist shooting at the Methodist Church and we couldn't get into the town.
Our our Airbnb was locked down. We couldn't do anything. And I'm like, I have no choice. I have to be in surgery in three and a half hours.
Anne: Oh my goodness.
Amber: Yeah. Yeah, it was, I don't
Anne: remember that part of the story. Wow.
Amber: Oh, there's so many layers upon layers. Yeah. It was a fiasco, to say the least.
But I asked the doctors, I said, if I don't do the surgery, what are my choices? he said, sweetheart, you're gonna leave on hospice. And I was 35, so I said well, I guess we're doing this surgery. Mm-hmm. It was 22 hours, and then about seven months of recovery. that I went through and right when the doctors gave me the news about what was to happen, I didn't know what to do, and I reached out on social media.
I started a GoFundMe page, and that's how the oral cancer cause came into my life. Linda Miles saw my posts through shares and re-shares and all the things, and her and Robin immediately got on the phone with me and started to talk to me about my procedure, what was gonna happen, that everything was gonna be okay.
And then Linda, I'll never forget, she said, what was the name of your cancer? I said, oh, it's a mouthful. Clear Cell Ono Carcinoma. She said, oh, I heard of that. I said, no, you haven't. No one in the world's heard of this. She said no, we helped another man with that same type of cancer last year in Philadelphia.
And by that night I was on the phone with, I call him my cancer brother. He's the only other survivor of that type of cancer. And we immediately had a network, we had support, we had all of those things that I didn't have. And when I was going through my surgery, I got a card in the mail. From the oral cancer cause, and it had a check in it and it said, please put your son in daycare while you're going through recovery.
And I was so moved that people would do something like that for a complete stranger. And as a mom I didn't want to give up caring for my children or even have the ability to not care for them. And they really gave me. An opportunity to heal and to grow and to have space to do that.
And for that, I can never repay those ladies ever.
Anne: That's so beautiful. Not knowing you and then just The generosity from a stranger. that's something that stays with you your entire life, and that's why your story needs to be shared because there are so many good people out there.
And of course, we all know Linda and and Robin and just beautiful souls, but That little gift that they gave you, helped you in dark moments of life. Oh, just to reflect on that,
I
Amber: mean, I was completely alone in the whole entire world. I had a better chance of being murdered by a vending machine falling on me than getting this type of cancer.
My God. So talk about luck sisters person. Oh. And so they really changed my life, you know, and when I got. To the point where I could still communicate and talk, and I've gone through recovery. Linda said, I've got an idea. And I said, okay. She said, I'm gonna need you to get on a plane. And I flew out to my very first presentation ever and it was at osh, the American Academy of Oral Systemic Health.
little did anyone know that before I got on that plane, I had gone to the nutritionist at the university. I. And I was emaciated and I was dying. I couldn't eat. I was on liquid foods for seven months. I drank everything through a straw. I ground steaks in my Ninja Brule To get protein, I had to do whatever I could do.
I. And I'd gone to the nutritionist and I said I, am losing my hair. I'm losing weight. I was about 110 pounds, like down to skin and bones. I don't know what to do. And he said, here are some recipes for these high fat, high sugar, high chlorate shakes that's gonna help you put on weight. And I said, I'm not the smartest chick in the world.
but I'm pretty sure all this sugar is not great for my cancer. And he said, do you wanna. Put on the waiter to you and a die of malnutrition. I said, but this doesn't make sense. So when I went to osh, sometimes you fly in and you don't have a lot to but listen to all the presentations.
And I snuck every single presentation and listened to them talk about everything you put in your mouth fuels your health and how you can reduce your inflammation and disease and. I realized in that moment that I could save my own life if I figured this out. If I figured out how to slow down the tumor growth, naturally I can do this.
I immediately went home and I enrolled in the Health Coach Institute. Only solely purpose is to save my life. I would be at home with my headphones on getting my education, doing things. To understand how to control the disease from returning and how to slow down the tumor growth. And that's what put me on this homeopathic path was that if I was gonna slow it down and extend those five years, I had to be preventative.
And so that's how I ended up with my health coaching degree, my life coaching certificate, and then now a personal trainer. Because I have to take care of my own health.
Anne: That's another part of your story that I really didn't know to the extent
Amber: of, I do all
Anne: sorts of stuff in the background.
Yeah, well, you are amazing to me. there's so much there to just unpack, but it just goes to show that you're just such a fighter. What are your top five strengths? do you know those offhand?
Amber: I, I do. I keep 'em on my desktop. Oh my God. And I keep 'em everywhere. I'm all green pretty much.
I'm strategic command, ideation, all of the things, achiever. if I know how it works, I can figure out a solution. So I will get down to the root cause of whatever it is and hone it out.
Um,
Anne: well, Your achiever makes you. The stu or, and you're gonna get it done. Mm-hmm. I mean, That is the thing.
And you're very strategic, so you get your plan, and also achiever is executing so, mm-hmm. executing at the very highest level, no one's gonna beat you. And Darden, if cancer is not gonna beat you either, Amber, it's just a miracle that you're still alive. But it so much has to do with you and.
I think you've just got such a strong message, and the way you explain it is so beautiful. I want talk a little bit about where you are now. You got your five year you know, ringing the bell after five years or whatever. I, oh, I wish. Tell me a, I don't ever,
Amber: ever get to ring a bell.
Anne: Oh, you don't know if you'll ever get to ring a bell?
Amber: Mm-hmm. No. When you got a cellular cancer, you never really get cleared. Because it, a cell that can go abnormal at any time. For any reason that's why you can't do chemo or radiation 'cause it's not targeted.
You can't find a solution for it. you know, I did five years, that was April 21st, 2020. That was an interesting time, obviously for everyone. But I had just come home with a newborn on March 4th of that year.
Right?
Anne: Yeah, yeah. Tell, tell us a little bit about, that was a big surprise. So here you are trying to get to your five year mark and all of a sudden you are pregnant.
And how old were you at the time?
Amber: My dear, I was
Anne: 39 at the time.
Amber: Yeah.
Anne: That must have been like a great conversation with your husband like, holy Kim.
Amber: You know, I was five months pregnant before I figured it out, and before I found out
Anne: such a gift, I
Amber: was angry. I'm not gonna lie, I was probably the angriest pregnant woman you'd ever meet.
I was so upset. I was upset because I fully embraced my five years. Because I'm a data person, they told me this is what it is. This is what you need to expect. And I planned for it. I planned for my family to continue without me. I put into place everything I wanted for my children.
I had all of my plans, everything. And when I found out I was pregnant, that was a little bit of a curve ball. That was something that I wasn't ready for because. I wasn't gonna be here. Right? Yeah. I think the universe and the good Lord knew that they had to give me something that went beyond that five years that really opened my eyes that I didn't need to do that.
I didn't need to think that way. And I called my oncologist when I found out I was pregnant, and I said, you know, this is five years. What do I do? And he said, I think you, maybe you want to get on with living. And I'm like, I don't understand. And I told him, I said, you me to plan for this.
And he said, yeah, but you beat that. He's like, and so now you need a plan to live. I almost couldn't embrace that at the time then of course the world was in its own little, whole different situation and everyone was at home and it was the best time. It honestly was the best time because my five-year day came and went.
There was no party, there was no celebration, there wasn't anything because there couldn't be, and now this year's my 10th and I. I'm so thankful because I get to see things I didn't think I was gonna get to see. I got to see my oldest daughter graduate high school. I got to see my son flourish.
I've got to see Sydney. I registered her for kindergarten this year, Anne. Oh, that's amazing. Losing my mind, right? Because I'm not ready for that. But these were days that were not supposed to be. Mm-hmm. I'm so thankful for them. it's pretty amazing.
Anne: It's pretty amazing. The grit that you have, the strength, the courage that you have.
seriously just like to get outta bed every day and then the gift of this little Sydney, it's like, boy, now you even have more to live for. You have more to fight for, and your family. It's also just a beautiful thing that you and your husband have gotten through this so beautifully.
Yeah. Because you know you need a partner. when you have something like this. 'cause it's, not just you going through it, it's your whole entire family.
Amber: Oh. You know, I learned a lot and a lot of times the significant others don't stay. And I'm not gonna lie I, try to get 'em to divorce me.
I try to get 'em to leave. I try to find him a mate after I passed all the things because
Anne: Oh, you can't, you just can't let that strategy go. Right. Because it's innate. That's
Amber: like, I wanted to make sure that my family unit would be okay if I wasn't gonna be here. And he always was steadfast and strong.
And he is like, Nope, nope. It never waffled. Not one single time. He was pretty awesome for that. So yeah, I was pretty awesome. I got lucky. You
Anne: are lucky. You are lucky. And there's a reason, I mean, I know, we know it's greater in our lives. You know why it doesn't happen to you, it happens for you.
Yeah. And I think it happens for the world for you to be able to use your, gifts and your strengths and your story, which is so profound. There's so much more to it than just solving the cancer issue. To me, it's the mindset You had the understanding, the faith and that you held onto hope.
That's the thing. And that love played such a big role in your survival and in your, future. It continues to find you in places. the oral cancer. Cause let's talk a little bit about that because before we got on, I was like, okay, this is so cool.
So Jimmy v. Foundation mm-hmm. has absorbed the oral cancer cause. So tell a little bit about that and I wanna hear about what's going on with you because I want people to be ready for your story to be, out there into the world. Say a little bit more.
Amber: Yeah. You know, Linda, Rob and I, all the team Ed, everyone that was incorporated in the oral cancer cause worked so hard for so many years, right?
To bring awareness, education, and raise money for families. Going through the diagnosis, Linda and Robin lost their siblings and family members to oral cancer and it is so predominant and I think that people forget that 59,000 people will be diagnosed this year. Head neck cancer, right? That's one person every hour of every day.
And the earlier detection, the better the longevity of your life and not having to deal with the side effects of treatment, right? So the only way we can ever. Lower these statistics is if we look more right. we're hitting a wall with going to meetings and things like that and the OCC, we really looked at it.
Jeff Blackburn had a great relationship with someone that was on board at the V Foundation and said this would be a really great partnership. So we had joined forces with them and they are phenomenal for cancer research. Yeah. And. There is nothing more that's gonna get us ahead of this than research and awareness.
And so this month they're focusing at the V Foundation on the OCC and of course oral cancer. 'cause it's oral Cancer Awareness month and sharing my story, sharing the organization's story. And it's still able to have funds raised and allocated for oral cancer research through the V Foundation. So it's really actually pretty cool.
It was a great. Opportunity for us and, and it gives us a huge platform to reach out and hopefully share education.
Anne: Yes, it is a huge platform. I mean, I watch that every year. I love Jimmy V Foundation and just, you know, of course I'm the age I remember him and I remember seeing his speech live.
I was watching it on TV and, and how it just moved so many, and to this day, it moves so many people because they're beat, we're beating cancer. in so many ways, but we need the research and we need people's stories like you because there are a lot of people that aren't getting screened and I know that, you know, the VELscope helped you.
Mm-hmm. There's a lot of different ways to do that, and we've got people in our due community that are like, experts in this. The cotton method. Catherine Gilliam Susan Cotton and, what do you wanna say to those that are hesitant or afraid of screenings and their dental visits?
Amber: I didn't know anything about it until it happened to me. Right. And I just honestly assumed that silly me, but assumed that every dental. Practice in the world did oral cancer screenings. Like I just thought that that was how it was. 'cause the one I went to did, and then I found out along the way that it doesn't happen at every practice.
You know? Or there's different methodologies, there's different devices, different techniques. Some people don't check it, some people do. I think to me, to bridge that gap. It sounds so scary when someone says, we're gonna screen you for cancer, and you automatically go on the defense like, oh, that's not me.
I'm not in that category. I'm, I don't smoke. I didn't smoke or drink or dip or any of that stuff either, right? I mean, When I was younger, I had an occasional, you know, cigarette here and there, and I stopped. It doesn't count. well, I'd stopped smoking a decade before this. And come to find out, data says that, it wasn't environmental, it wasn't hereditary, it was literally the luck of the draw my cancer.
It wasn't HPV, which is the number one cause of, or cancers. So I really don't even have anything to put it back to, is why it was me per se. But it was, and that's the thing. It could be anybody. You don't have to have signs or symptoms or even know my tumor was under the tissue inside the bone, so you wouldn't have seen it if you were just doing a regular exam with no devices and no x-rays.
There's no way you would've been able to tell if I hadn't had those two things, I wouldn't be here. I think they said two millimeters away from entering my bone marrow channel, Again, didn't know I had a bone marrow channel in my jawbone, which leads to everything. just do the screenings. You know, the more you talk about it with patients, if you're a hygienist or a dentist or in an office. Just talk to them about it naturally. It's not a scary thing. This is just preventative. We wanna make sure that everything looks the way it should look.
And you know, on the other end you get. That message that you should probably have it checked out. I would probably follow up. I know, I know. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. And if you're a practice manager, maybe get pushy practice manager that will make sure Yeah. That your patients do what they're supposed to.
Anne: So many valuable lessons in this podcast today. I hope if you're listening to this, you will share this because you're right. If that office manager hadn't been a pushy broad and didn't call you back and say, that is unacceptable. needed that.
You needed that. I did. Because I, because especially if you don't have any symptoms you're like, this is crazy. I've only, I don't even know this, Dennis. What the heck? Because I've never heard of this before. There's no, yeah. You know, I was
Amber: like, what? Maybe I should get a second opinion, you know? yeah. I don't have, I don't hurt.
There's nothing wrong. You just don't know.
Anne: Yeah. And the fact that you are here now ever sharing your story, we're gonna see you on national tv. You know, I also hope that Robin Roberts from a, b, C, will do a story on you. So if you're listening, Robin, I would love you to do a story on Amber because your story is so powerful.
I still remembered our very first retreat, Amber, when you stood up and shared your story, there wasn't a dry eye in the house because of just the joy. that was just a couple years in. you weren't even close to your five year mark at that point.
but you always shared it with hope, with light and with love That's who you are, and I adore you, and I'm just, I know that you're meant to take this message to the world and save so many lives through what happened to you, what happened for you, and for all of us. So thank you for being so brave, so courageous, so amazing, and so generous with your.
Time and talent. I wish you and your family just the total best. I'm so excited. We got a spring going on. You gotta be crazy busy. April as a mom, you own your own med spa now? Is it a med spa? Is that what you would call it? Yeah. Nice Med Spa. That's what Life coach.
I mean So many things and personal trainer. So reach out. How do we get in touch with you, Amber, if we want to get you onto our, stage or just have some life coaching or you're going through something because there's nothing like somebody to be able to coach you that's been through it, right? That's a hand that you can hold and is strong support.
So how do we get in touch with you?
Amber: So I have my website, a young survivor.com. Instagram, same thing. It's a young under survivor. anytime I'm on the do I'm out here readily available. You know, I. never questioned why this happened to me, and like you said, it happened for me. It is one of the best things that ever happened to me because it stopped me in my tracks and made me really appreciate certain things in life and changed the way that I operated.
And I'm thankful for it. I'm
Anne: Oh, I am so thankful for you. I. Love you, and thank you so much for being with me today. I can't wait to, celebrate the college graduation of Little Sydney with you. It'll be so fun. We got a lot of good stuff ahead of us.
And you know, everybody, if you're listening, well first of all, come to the retreat. Amber will be there. That's in November 13th through 15. You'll get to meet Amber in person share this story with your friends and your colleagues and know that there's somebody out there that can help you do that for us.
And most importantly, out there, no matter what. Keep doing you. Thank you so much, Amber. I will see you down the road. Take care. Have a wonderful day.
