Anne: Hi everybody. It's Anne Duffy and welcome to the Just DeW It podcast. I have just a dear friend of mine, and actually we're fairly new friends, but boy are we fast friends. I mean, when you find somebody and you just connect 'em.
But before we get started, let me tell you a little bit about her. She is the founder of the Empowered LeadHERship Experience. Brandi Marzolino helps women in dental. To stop people pleasing and start leading with clarity, courage, and joy. She blends strategy with soul and isn't afraid to call BS on burnout culture.
Leadership gets real when women stop abandoning themselves. Wow. Her top strengths, learners, strategic input, individualization, and intellectual. Please help me welcome Brandi Marzolino. Yay. Hi. Yay.
Brandi: I'm Brandi. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me on. And you are one of my favorite people, obviously, and I absolutely love connecting with you.
Any chance I can get so.this is a great opportunity for me. Thanks.
Anne: You are so welcome. Well, you've been to the past retreats a couple of times, and then you and I really got to connect when we routed Utah at the Dental Collective with Eric Roman and Josie Sowell. That was super cool as well.
I mean, good people find good people, and I think principle number three, as I'm always talking about is good dues. Find good dues, and we found each other. And someday we're gonna go rent a spot and just, do nothing except dig deep and talk. 'cause I think that's kind of your jam.
Brandi: Yeah. I absolutely love going deep with people, and you're a mover and a shaker and you've seen a lot in your career, and so I always really admire your wisdom and,and how you see the world too with all of your experience. So it'sa marriage of things that I really love and admire about you that not a lot of people have.
So I think you're just. Uh,incredible resource and a, a well of wisdom. So I'm super grateful that our paths have crossed.
Anne: Yeah, me too. But you know, thinking about that, I'm looking at your strengths and I say we weren't going talk too much about it, but we're like opposites and strengths. So I'll bring the people to you and you can just work on 'em.
I mean, that is the key. I mean, those are so strong, leader, strategic, input, and intellectual, and that is all strategic. And I think I talked to you one time and I said, strategic doesn't even show up in my strengths until number 11. So I need, someday, maybe we will actually really be like connected at the hip and working together.
'cause those are such strong strengths. and you're just an amazing coach. I know a lot of, women that have, been coached by you, but they didn't know it. you've been in coaching for quite some time, but now you've launched your own business, but you, you've been coaching for years and Yes.
Surprised me when I, when I really dug into your, bio over the years. When did you start coaching and why did you create the empowered leadership experience for women in dental?
Brandi: Yeah, well, gosh, I started coaching probably close to 20 years ago. And I have a very meandering path. But when I got involved in coaching about 20 years ago, I actually started out as a holistic health coach.
So I'm a certified holistic health coach, and I really, really got involved in holistic health. Uh, and this was, you know, right before it's.The major explosion that it is today. But you know, as people were still shopping at co-ops and things like that andknow, it was still a little bit more alternative.
It wasn't quite as mainstream now, but I've always had, and you know, this plays into my strengths as well. I've always had this holistic lens on everything that I look at. And I knew, you know, mind, body, spirit, connection, what we put in our body, you know, has a direct impact on how we feel, how we experience life.
And so I always was looking at it in this. Holistic sense. And then shortly after I got into health coaching. I made my way into dental, which was a complete accident as I know some people's stories go. And I started coaching in the dental space and I was really fascinated by it. 'cause again, my mind went to the ecosystem that was a dental office and the impact of leadership in the dental office and how that even, you know, trickled down to the patient experience and everything else.
And I saw time and time again that. A lot of the doctors that I was working with, how they presented to the outside world was very different than how they were experiencing their lives internally. And I noticed a trend with women that there was often this grieving that they were experiencing because they had checked all the boxes, they had done all the things, and they were really successful dentists and entrepreneurs and,had what they were told would.
Make them successful. But they got duped because they had this belief that success would mean happiness and feeling content and that they would love their life and they didn't like their lives. they didn't like that they had worked so hard. They got to what they thought was the finish line and they were looking around going, what happened?
This wasn't the life that I wanted. And so there was a different kind of coaching for them. And I kept, coaching and,working in that space. And then eventually, you know, I did make my way towards, you know, the group practice space. It was called group practices. Then, then evolved into DSO.
But I was in the group practice space for a little while, but I always had this yearning and this calling that I wanted to work particularly with women. ' 'cause it wasn't just.women doctors, but it was also team members, you know? Yeah. I saw these brilliant team members, be promoted to office managers or directors or anything like that.
And the same kind of thing. They were chasing this sort of title or this acknowledgement and this desire to be seen and to be heard, and they'd get to this place and then they still had this disappointment when they got there and it was like. A chronic achieve heartbreak, achieve heartbreak, achieve heartbreak, and they just didn't have the systems or even the self-awareness to recognize, Hey, is this what you really want?
And I know a lot of women, one of the least favorite questions to be asked is, well, what do you want? You know, and it's often like, I don't know, you tell me what I should want. Yeah. And so I was just seeing these trends over and over again. And so I decided this last year, and honestly this has been marinating for 20 years.
And I too feel like it was time to finally create it and launch it because I needed to go through my own reckoning, being a woman in business. Uh, leading in my life, you know, finally getting to a place where I felt that I was actually leading in my personal life. 'cause I often say you can't lead in business if you can't lead your life.
And so I really needed to figure that out. And divine timing in a way, you know, that I felt that I had gone through my own reckoning. and I'm using these tools in my life as well. And so I know they work. product of this that I'm coaching. I'm always on the court with everybody else. And so it was a distillation of everything that I've been working on over the last, you know, 20 years.
And I felt like it was time to share it and support other women and experiencing this freedom because where I'm at now in my life, there's a sense of internal freedom that I can't quite. Put into words, but I know it's a product of, you know, this work that I've been putting together. And so now it's time to, uh, start the revolution and support other women.
Anne: Couple things there, Brandi. I mean, you know, first of all, you look so young, but you have the gravitas. You have Lived it. 'cause I'm, speaking to you, you've had coaches upon coaches and so taking all that, and then when you look at your strengths, I mean, I can't stop, but thinking about that, you are smart enough to really take all that information from input and intellectual learner.
Brandi: Mm-hmm. Oh my god.
Anne: And strategic, and you just put it all into this awesome program that you're putting together and 20 years of experience. it's really amazing. And then the individualization, which is so cool. And I think you and I talked about this, that's my dead last strength. Yeah. Which is crazy.
You really see a person when they come. I like somebody right off the bat. I mean, I like everybody and I'm like a golden retriever, but I don't necessarily see them for who they are differently and how they, live life differently. And that's one of your top strengths. So you actually could actually really see the person really bring out what That woman. Let's talk about women. We know men need it as well, but I love that, women are,have different intuitions, they're different innate qualities. I just love that you are doing this now and if you're listening to this, you know, reach out if you're, if you're stuck somewhere in your life.What do you think it is about women though, that, you know, we were talking a little bit earlier before we even pushed record. They don't feel worthy, to actually buy into helping themselves because, you know, you said they don't like to hear, what do you want? Well, that's because it's always about what everybody else wants, and then we fill those, needs their buckets.
We rarely think about filling our own bucket. What is that?
Brandi: Yeah, I mean, I thinkthere's a couple things. One is I think women are nurturers, right? So just innately mm-hmm. It'spart of, our makeup. And so when we hear the opportunity to invest in ourselves, we're often thinking, you know, well, should I be using this money towards, you know, my kids or my family?
Or you know, a family trip or a bill we have to pay or is it really worth it? So I think there's partly that. I also think women as a whole, we've been a little brainwashed to not trust ourselves. And so we have that really, really strong intuition. And when we're tapped into it, I know that we're unstoppable, but our society is a little of.Afraid of strong, powerful women tapped into their intuition historically. Right? It's been shown that way. And so there's been a lot to keep us outside of ourselves and to keep us focused externally onto other things, So I think there's partly that. So if there's a,desire for something like this, it's like, ah, well maybe I don't actually really need it.
Maybe things aren't so bad, maybe I don't actually need help in that area. we have the inner voice, but we're trained to not listen or to trust it. So there's a distrust sometimes even in our decision making. Capabilities, right? So I think part of that is built in as well.
And I also think sometimes women are a little bit afraid to get honest with themselves and these types of programs point to, the truth, right? So we wanna get to the truth. I'm also a truth seeker. I'm a truth teller and a truth seeker, and that's something that's always been really important to me.
And a lot of people are afraid of. The truth because they're afraid of the pain that it might bring up for them. So it's kind of this hesitancy to open Pandora's box, essentially. Because they're afraid of what's on the other side, and they may not wanna do the work that's associated with it. So let's just say you're at a practice that, gosh, you know, intuitively, you know, this place just doesn't work for me anymore, but I'd rather.
Just know that and stuff it down and show up every day. 'cause the, the idea of leaving or selling or something like that is just too complicated and too much for me to endure. So I'd rather not take a look at that. I'll just push it off to the side. So I think there's some of that and something that I always wanna encourage.
Women to know is that the mind that creates the problem or sees the problem is the same mind that's trying to solve the problem. So what that means is it's really helpful to get outside support or encouragement or somebody to mirror back to you, new ideas, new solutions. Maybe it doesn't mean you have to leave the practice or sell or.Leave a relationship or something like that because that's all what your mind sees. But when you have skilled coaches and guides and mentors come into your life, they can say, well, actually, you just need to have a tough conversation. Right, and you're not speaking what you need from that relationship or that business.
And maybe it's just a matter of that. It doesn't mean leaving, it doesn't mean blowing everything up. So we try to fix our own problems or push 'em aside without outside influence. But sometimes programs like, you know, the empowered leadership experience or even being part of Duke, you know, creates a community where you meet.
Other like-minded women that are going, oh, I, I experienced something similar and this is what I did, and then you can go, oh,
Anne: it's like a big aha. Right? And it's like, I didn't
Brandi: even think of that.
Anne: Yeah. You know, when you think about it, oh my god, you know, like you're afraid. You're afraid to ultimately go that deep and then it might just be a one degree shift.
like you said. Mm-hmm. It might not have to blow the whole thing up. You might have just like, had thatconversation then. Well, it goes well from that point forward instead of, oh, I think about my goodness, my career. If somebody said to me day, how did you stay there that long?And I don't know, except I had, I had my reasons.
Brandi: Yeah. I
Anne: don't know. They were a little bit more superficial close to my kids' school. It was easy. I like my patients excellent clinical. Yeah. But as far as growth does matter Yeah.And all that. I did 20, you know, 27 years in one practice. And,I think I grew, but it was always from the outside. Yeah.
Not with the inside. And then, and again, if you're listening, I mean, how cool would it be if every woman that we know, like just say for instance, indu felt empowered. Did not Fear a change. could have somebody say, you know, Hey, it's okay to feel this way and maybe you might look at it this way 'cause this worked for me.
And it's like, oh my God. And then they will take that. Pass that on to the next woman that they know, be it their sister, their neighbor, their daughter, their patient, their team member. it's a, groundswell. Start getting women to like, get beyond the stops that they have, in their career, but, ultimately their life.
look back. And that was a sad thing. Isn't it sad when you, someone just hated their career, couldn't wait to retire. And it's like, yeah,
Brandi: yeah, I know. It's, and like, there's another way and I think that's what's so important in being in community, right? Is. Yeah, you get to see other pathways and then you also have women rooting for you.
And I think that's one of the things that's so inspiring is we had our group coaching call the other day that I was sharing with you before we got started and just to see these women collectively come together and offer up their ideas and support and root for them and really encourage other women to go for it.
It was just, it was so moving to me and I know that's. What you've created inside a do as well. And there's just something really, really powerful about that. And some of my best relationships, in my, you know, career so far have come from women. I do, you know? Mm-hmm. And they're just these women that are just wholeheartedly encouraging me, wanting to see me win, wanting to see me succeed, know that my.
success is their success as well, and I want the same for them. Right. And it's just so fun when you can just, you know, move aside any sort of competition and you just start working together and, you know, there's enough pie for everybody, you know, living in that state of abundance. Yeah, it's really possible.
And again. Not a lot of people have access to being in abundance if they're not, you know, doing the inner work. if they don't know who they are, they're not confident in themselves. It's really hard to be in a state of abundance when you lack the confidence.
Anne: it's never too early to start that, and it's never too early or too, audacious to realize. You don't necessarily wanna say you need this, but you know, we want them to want this. We want them to have a better life, want, know that it's out there. Give them hope. Mm-hmm. this is something you need to look at, but you know, one of the things I wanted to circle back on is the retreat that we had.
Two years ago.
Brandi: Yeah.
Anne: And you were a big part of When we discovered, my bad, I, I had the house party that had wine and I had beer, and I had water. And then the same thing. We went to Dead Spice Serona. And it didn't occur to me that, you know, I needed to have. Sparkling water and other things, because everybody's different.
And we had about 20% of the women there choose not to drink. And I was like, wow. That's amazing. I, that was such an eye-opener for me, and I'm so thankful that you have pushed that message forward. And I want you to tell a little bit about how sobriety has impacted your life, because it, it's okay, right?
Yeah. And I wonder a little bit about that.
Brandi: Yeah, so sobriety has just been a huge part of my life. I am part of 12 step programs as well, and so that's something that's important to me. And I see sobriety, seeping into every area, even as a business person and as an entrepreneur, because to me, sobriety is a way of life.
And it's also a spiritual endeavor, it's an existence and how I choose to live my life. And, you know, I think you and I. I talked about this a little bit too, and I've talked to others and Dr. Brett Kessler as well, because it's, you know, being a spiritual person who's committed to a life of truth and integrity doesn't always mesh well in the space of being an entrepreneur.
Yeah. And like how people run their businesses and things like that. So it's always a humbling reminder of what I'm committed to above all else. And, it's a lifestyle, you know, to live sober. And, and to me that doesn't mean just abstaining from drugs and alcohol. It also means, you know, living a life of integrity, being somebody who is my word, showing up, honoring myself, honoring others, and having that way of being.
It's,beyond that and, you know, beyond, just drugs and alcohol, but. I think something that also I'm enormously grateful for, which of course happened at the dairy retreat Yeah. A couple years ago. But when Laura Nelson and Margie Scheller. came forward about their recovery and sober life.
Rocks was born. as a result of the DO retreat. And that was something that was so empowering for me because a combination of their efforts and then Dr. Brett Kessler coming forward with his sobriety, which he's always done, he's very outspoken about it. Gave me the courage to come forward and talk about my sobriety.
'cause I always left it outside of my business. Life and kept it as sort of a private thing. But the impact that it's had since I've been more vocal about it, has been really profound because I finally felt set free and completely unleashed. And if anyone now talks about sobriety or like you and all the efforts, and to your credit, individualization is your last.
Uh, strength. Yeah. So you wouldn't have thought of this, but um, that's right. That's why I need you. But you get, you get pass. you were just like, oh my gosh, yes, we totally need to do this. And you know, now it's built into the retreat this year, you know, where it's inclusivity is a huge part of it.
you know, and then we were at DMA this last year and we worked really, really hard on having non-alcoholic beverages. as an option at the bars and then also on display. So people knew these were available. It wasn't some weird request. You had to have to not have, you know, an alcoholic drink.
So I think it's really important for people to know that it's possible and so many more people have come forward to me and said, Hey, I'm sober too, or I'm trying to quit drinking, or This is my story, and it releases that shame. Or that part of yourself that you feel like you have to have hidden. Because I really do think that sobriety is our greatest superpower for those of us that, you know, are on that sober journey.
to be able to say it and say it out loud and not feel ashamed about ithave our battle scars and move forward. And then I really believe in alchemizing a lot of that pain. And that's, and we're all doing the work, you know, we're all paying it forward and showing up and trying to be there for others now.
I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my sobriety and, the people in the recovery community and 12 step programs, not by a long shot. So every day I am really, really grateful for that. And, no matter what happens in my life, the fact that, you know, I remain sober, I think that will be, the biggest victory of all.
For sure
Anne: the legacy that you're gonna leave. I mean, and also just Normalizing it for people and just, I understand it more. I applaud you guys and I support you so much I'm just so glad that all happened. That was, huge in my life.
That moment what, you know, Lauren and Maggie have taken forward and you're helping them too. I mean, you know. Yes. It's like you've helped us because I,you hooked us up with somebody. Yes. And they're helping us with the house party this year.
I'm,I'm happy about it. I don't believe in being pride. I think I'm just happy that I've,I'm aware of it now, embracing. The notion that it's not weird, it's great, and everybody has their own journey to walk in, and we want 'em to be ahealthy, lovely, wonderful life.
and it's available for people and you know, they can walk with you and with us. it's absolutely beautiful. And I thank you for your courage because I think it takes courage and vulnerability to, shout out from the rooftops that hey. Come join us we will take your hand and help you out.
Well, I know that, your view of leadership is unique. Knowing you and spending some time with you compared to the traditional training and view of leadership, how do you set yourself apart and where does your view come from?
Brandi: Yeah. And again, I think it does go back to the holistic piece of looking at all parts of you and then also having it really be a deep dive into what your unique leadership, DNA looks like.
Yeah, I, I think traditional leadership, and again, this isn't. I have a lot of male clients too. Right. And I love med. Yeah. And this is nothing in, I do too, that way.But a lot of leadership books are written by older men. and they're very helpful. I mean, there's a lot of tactical stuff in there that I think can, mm-hmm.
Be used, but I really believe that it's an inside out. Job. And then once you get really clear on that, then you can start using a lot of what traditional leadership tools suggest, right? When it comes to, implementation and strategy and rollout and communication skills and things like that, they all have their place.
But until you are very, very clear on what you stand for, what are your beliefs, what are your values? What are you looking to create? Until you get very clear on that and know that it's unique to you not what everyone else in your industry is saying to do. Mm-hmm. Especially in this, DSO group space.
So many people want to buy multiple offices and, just they wanna get bigger and bigger and bigger. And then you meet the individual and there's somebody that's super content with one office and all their needs are met, and they're just in a beautiful financial place for themselves and their family.
And they're like, I'm good. And it's like, well,why do you want to all these other things? It's only because the industry is telling you you should. But without recognizing that or having a coach or a guide or somebody mirroring it back to you as far as like, what are your true desires and what is enough for you?
And recognizing that, you're going to be chronically leading from a place that doesn't belong to you, that you're not connected with. And I think that's where a lot of leaders get in trouble 'cause they're chasing something that's not their own. And the downside of that is that you're never actually going to get there because it's not yours.
Anne: Yeah. And it's,possibly could never be enough, right? Because you haven't grounded in,what it is that you really want. You know? That's so interesting, Brandi, because it makes me think of all the women, like you know, we wanna empower women. And that doesn't mean success to a woman means they have to be a CEO, running a multiple practice, DSO and all that kind of stuff.
I mean, Start there. What doessuccess look like for you? And then go there. Because dentistry, it's a centric business. When you think of 60% of the graduating dentists are female. Their teams are female, basically. And then women are the ones that are making all the appointments also.
Yeah. I mean, you think I could go on and on and on about that?and I always thought about, you know, how do we help women
start and say, we what do you really want? Yeah.and encourage them to know that they can have what they want.
Brandi: Yeah.
Anne: we can't tell them what they want. I can't say, oh, you need to go and do this and, and, run General Motors or, you know, Heartland Dental.
that doesn't work if they don't want it, but if they do want something like that, here's the path. Yeah. And it starts with you.
Brandi: And something that's coming up for me is like rooted. You know, we want women to feel really rooted and you can't feel rooted unless you know who you are.
And you know, I love the nature analogies and things like that, my husband recently has gotten really into orchids and if you know anything about plants, orchids are not easy.
Anne: Yeah. They're individuals. They're individuals, right?
Brandi: They're humans. Orchids are very special, right?
Yeah. But they know what they want and they know what they need. But if you're an orchid and you know, you're trying to grow in the, you know, blazing sun in traditional soil and you can bury yourself whatever, it's just not gonna work, right? So if you go outside and look at all the diversity that's there, and every plant tree, you know, growing thing needs its own.
Delicate ecosystem and system to support it to really flourish. And if you're not paying attention to what your plant needs, we all know the plant isn't going to. Live very well. It, it could die or it could just not ever reach its full potential. And, we're no different in the sense of what is the unique ecosystem that's gonna help us really thrive?
And there's so much information out there right now on self-care and leadership and what you should eat and how you should work out and this, that, and the other. And I think we all get lost in the sauce. Myself included, I need people in my life to help. Bring me back to, okay, what does Brandi want?
What works for me? I love getting up really early in the morning. I go to bed early. I have a certain workout routine. I like to eat certain things, and you have to really flush out the noise. But I didn't get there on my own. I had a lot of people along the way help me and show me alternative ways and bring me home to myself.
And I think people try to self-diagnose, you know, create their own, life or leadership style based on what they see everybody else doing, and it's not unique to them. And I think that's where a lot of the heartbreak comes from.
Anne: Yeah. It says something else that I just wanna touch on too. we can get all this stuff.
Like there's so much information out there, you know, 'cause you're input and you can't get enough information. Right. A learner.
Brandi: Yeah. I'm constantly learning,
Anne: but there's, I know But I think you and I realize though, and this is just, as a credit to our relationship, there is nothing like.
Having a conversation, be it on the phone, zoom, that's all good. There's nothing like being in a room together, right? And so these are things that you can't replace unless you show up. And unless you actually dig deep enough and do the work, and you can't do it with chat GPT, you have to do it with a real person.
Belly to belly, zoom to zoom, whatever. That's when the, the magic I think really comes and that's when the fulfillment. Is available for you and for everybody. I mean, how do they get in touch with you? Because you're amazing and aw, thank I love what you're doing and you, got 20 years of experience behind you.
And I know that people would like to be able to get in touch with you and, and see what else you've got your sleeve for leadership to grow. Leadership within the female community and Lookout Men is gonna help you too, right? So,
Brandi: yes. Yeah. And especially for the men too, because when you have really empowered women on your team or in your life, I mean.
We all know men's lives are better when they have a real Yeah.their lives. Yes, we do.
Anne: Yes we do. So,
Brandi: um,
but yes, you can find me on Instagram, Brandi Marzolino. You can find me on LinkedIn, Brandi Marzolino as well. the website for the leadership experiences LeadHERship experience.com. And if anyone has any questions at all about it, please hit me up.
Find me online. DM me anything. I'm just. Super happy to talk about this with anyone and help them with any questions that they have as well, and overcoming any obstacles that they may have. So really passionate about this and super excited.
Anne: I love it. I mean, her is spelled at all caps, which I love. Yeah.LeadHERship. Okay. So you area leader in my life and I'm a better person because I know you and I have a chance to, you know, get to know you even better.Through DO and other organizations. So thank you, Brandi. Have a great day. Thanks for joining us and if you're listening, anybody remember the most important thing you can do is to doyou and keep doing you. Thanks everyone. See you next time. Thanks, Brandi.
Brandi: Thanks Anne.
