Erin: Toward the end of the retreat, I made a comment, and I cried in front of 300 people.
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: And I just talked about how, when you're a high-achieving woman, people don't know or remember to check on you a lot of the time. You're carrying everything, and you look like you've got it all together, and people don't know that you're crushed inside or struggling.
Anne: Hi, everybody. It's Anne Duffy, and welcome to Dental Entrepreneur Woman, the Just DeW It podcast. I am so happy you're with me today, and I'm really excited because I have a new dear friend joining me today. She's amazing, and I want to tell you a little bit about her before we get started. Dr. Erin Sheffield is a board-certified oral maxillofacial surgeon, speaker, podcast host, and founder of The Doctor Is All In retreat, where she helps high-achieving women redefine success beyond achievement. Fun fact: she failed multiple times on her path to becoming a surgeon and became a scuba instructor in the Bay Islands, Honduras, right before dental school.
Way to go, Miss Erin Sheffield. Thank you, and thanks for joining us today, Dr. Erin Sheffield. I'm so glad you're here.
Erin: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to talk to you today.
Anne: It's so cool. I can't believe you did all that before dental school. I mean, you push the limits a little bit, don't you?
Erin: Yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think so. I'm always doing something.
Anne: Always doing something really fun. It was so great to have you at our retreat last year and to know your top five strengths. We were talking about that before we pushed play: communication, activator, woo, strategic, and individualization. You're running your own retreat now, which is so perfect, especially with the individualization, because Erin, you can see each person and how they were uniquely made. You actually see them. It's unusual to see woo and individualization so close in the top five.
Erin: Is it?
Anne: Yeah, because with woo, you like everybody. Everybody is your friend, and all that. So you actually like everybody, and everybody's your friend. You can't wait to meet them, but you also see something special in each one of them. It's a gift.
Erin: That's so cool. I think you're right. Yeah, definitely.
Anne: Isn't that cool? And you're very high-achieving because you were going to be the Maxim cover and represent all women in dentistry, and we were all excited and voting for you. Then the crush of, if you had more cash in your bank account, you would've won. What the heck is that about, right?
Erin: That was very disappointing. I say I accidentally joined this competition, and some people are rolling their eyes like, "What do you mean you accidentally joined it?" But my friend, who is also a physician, got into acting and modeling, and a few years ago, probably the first time they were doing this competition, she ended up winning the whole competition.
There was only one competition at this time. Now they have a bunch of little ones. So she won this thing, and I remember seeing her on the cover. It was so cool that my friend, the doctor, was on the cover of Maxim magazine. Then I kept seeing her face on Facebook. I kept getting all these ads saying, "Join this competition. It's an over-40 Maxim magazine cover girl competition," and my friend was the judge. So I was like, "I'm just going to join so I can tease her about it." I started filling it out, and I think I put my name and a picture. Then it said something like, "Add your modeling photos," and I was like, "Oh."
Anne: Okay.
Erin: If that's what this is, no. So I left it, and I didn't even know I pushed submit. Next thing I know, I'm getting messages from Maxim, and I'm like, "That's what I get for giving them my number. They're spamming me." Finally, I looked at them, and it was like, "Congratulations, you won this round. Congratulations, you won another round." So I'd won multiple rounds not even knowing I was in the competition. At that point, it was like, well, let's just run with this and see where I go. I made it to the eighth and final voting round and was in first place until this lady dumped a lot of cash in the last two minutes.
So it was very frustrating. I feel like the best part was seeing how many people were excited and coming out for you. Unless it's your funeral, you don't get to see the people from all walks of life really supporting you, and then it's your funeral, so you don't get to see. So it was kind of like my early wake for myself.
Anne: I love it.
Erin: And the only thing that died was the contest.
Anne: I love it. Well, unless they're giving you a big lump of cash for the win, I guess you did learn a lot. It's super cool to know how many people care about you.
I was getting messages. We were like, "Vote for her. There are double points today. Double points. Get in there. Vote." It was just so great, and it was a fun rally for all of us. We were all rallying for you, but that's what sisters do, I guess, right?
Erin: Yes, definitely. That was the best part for sure. It was just seeing that people care. People I didn't know care, and even strangers care. That part was neat.
Anne: It's also a nice example for you to set yourself out there. It's a little bit more uncomfortable, if you will, and your kids saw that you went for it. You did go for it. Once you knew you were in the running, you didn't give up, and I'm really proud of you for that. That just says a lot about character. You were in it to win it.
Erin: It was uncomfortable. It was. And I'm always trying to sell a retreat, just because I know how powerful it is, like your conference.
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: I don't like to think of myself as a salesman, and I don't like making the sale, but you have to practice. Putting yourself out there and that rejection feeling is real. I was posting on some dental forums, and some people were like, "Oh my gosh, this is so cool. We're voting," or, "I bought a magazine to support you. Thank you, and keep us updated." Then there were some people like, "This is terrible. What is wrong with you? Why are you bothering us? This is not appropriate content for a professional dental page like this." It's hard sometimes when you're getting that.
And I'm hanging up posters in our surgery center, and I was mortified because people were in there. When you're doing it anonymously and no one knows, it's one thing, but when I'm in there, it's like, "Look at me self-promoting," and that's just not, especially as a woman, something that I think most of us are used to doing: saying, "Here, this is something that I want, and I'm asking for it, and I'm unapologetic." That makes a lot of people uncomfortable. But it was definitely a really good learning experience for me.
Anne: That's beautiful. There are so many things there, Erin. First of all, the courage it takes, right? We were happy. Your friends are going to be happy for you. All the naysayers and all that, you have to consider the source. No matter when you put yourself out there, we were talking about you have a retreat, I have a retreat. You're going to have some people that come, and it's not their thing.
Erin: Yeah.
Anne: Well, that's okay. We love you anyway. Once we get into this, I want to know more about your retreat. When is your retreat? Let's start there.
Erin: It's happening February 2027 at the Miraval Resort in Austin.
Anne: Ooh. Which is fabulous.
Erin: It's a reason to go all on its own.
Anne: Yeah, absolutely. Just for you, right? And how many women are you hoping to get into the room?
Erin: We top out at 30.
Anne: Okay.
Erin: We just have a few spots left. If anyone is interested in coming, we're almost there. We're almost sold out, and once we get to 30, we're done. That's on purpose. People are like, "Wow, when this gets really successful, think of how many people can come and grow." But that's not what I'm trying to do.
I've been to so many of the mega conferences, and that's what inspired me to do this, because they weren't serving me. I go, and I show up, and I'm in a room full of strangers, and you feel like an imposter. You don't know if you fit in or if you deserve to be there. Then they're talking about things like microfibrillar free flaps, and that's great for the people who are doing those, but that's such a small percentage, and that's not really helping me or my patients.
I'm leaving feeling frazzled, bored, and overwhelmed, and then you go back to your practice and just feel like you're behind. The retreat I made is more for coming to fill your cup and find yourself as a person. Remember who you were before all of your training and all of the caregiving and all of the achievement kind of robbed that core childhood self. Then you go back feeling rejuvenated, inspired, ready to hit the ground running, and with a community that can support you and know what it's like so you don't feel like that island that's out there alone.
Anne: Boy, you just sound like you just now.
Erin: Yeah. Well, that's why I love what you're doing, because it feels so aligned and so inspiring. You're doing it on a much bigger scale. You're doing it at 10 times the scale that I am, and that's why I've been so impressed with you, just being able to foster that. I was telling you before, I went to another big conference, and they were saying, "Come find your tribe." I felt like it was really cliquey, I felt very othered, and I didn't feel like I was brought in. So when I went to yours, I had low expectations, and then I was just blown away by the camaraderie and the number of women who seemed really excited to meet me and wanted to help me in my goals. I was excited and wanted to help them. I don't know if you heard this story, but it was so powerful for what you're building. Toward the end of the retreat, I made a comment, and I cried in front of 300 people.
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: I just talked about how, when you're a high-achieving woman, people don't know or remember to check on you a lot of the time. You're carrying everything, and you look like you've got it all together, and people don't know that you're crushed inside or struggling. When I lost my dad, that was a really hard moment for me.
After, people were like, "We're having a party. Does anyone want to come?" I had some extra time, and I didn't know anyone, but sure, I'd come to this house party. I showed up. Then it was, "Let's go to dinner," and okay, I went to dinner again with strangers. They were like, "Erin, we loved what you said, and did you find any support? Because that's what this is all about." And I was like, "Well, not really." It makes me want to cry almost again. I'm such a crier. They were like, "Well, we'll be your support." They made this text group, and they would take turns checking in on me, and they still do. It's been like nine months. They'll still say, "Hey, Erin, we were thinking about you. How are you doing? What's going on? We're voting for you for the magazine thing." It's just so amazing. I don't even really know these women, and yet they really came together and did that just out of love. That's incredible.
I've never experienced something like that, where strangers are all so aligned just for goodness.
Anne: Just for goodness. Just to share light. That was really, really powerful and a testament to you and what you're building.
Thank you. When we started it, I only had two things about DeW. Number one is love, because I was really upset about my friend being bullied and just seeing that in our industry. Then two, strengths. Living your strengths, falling in love with yourself again, because you've really got it going, girl. I look at your strengths, and they're phenomenal. What you're doing gives you an eye on your purpose, I think. Obviously, you know you should be leading a retreat. Is it just for doctors? Is it for dentists?
Erin: I originally built it for women in oral surgery. There are just so few of us.
Anne: I know.
Erin: I feel like we really have these unique challenges behind us, and I wanted to offer support. But other women dentists really resonate, and even physicians or anyone in healthcare who feels called to come is 100% welcome. But it's probably about 50/50, oral surgeons and dentists, historically.
Anne: I think that's one of the beauties of DeW, that we have all career paths, which is unique, because I really feel, and I've mentioned this before, that our sterilization woman was the most influential woman in my dental career. Everybody has a place, and even our sponsors are right in it with us because we need them. It's beautiful.
I just went to a retreat on Saturday. It was at my church, and I wanted to reset myself. What was so special was that there were all different ages, Erin, similar to what we're doing. Same thing with you: in a room of women, the only man was the photographer, Benny. I know him, and he was the only man in the room. Same with us. The only man in the room is going to be the AV guy. There's something really special, and I think it's starting to happen, women coming together and realizing we're stronger together.
Erin: 100%.
Anne: It's a lovely, loving atmosphere. My cup was filled over the weekend. I'm not bringing that retreat to DeW because we have so many different religions, agnostics, atheists, and all that. But I believe everyone has some higher power, that calling, that little nudge you get from it.
Why do high-achieving women in our industry struggle so much to invest in themselves, to say yes, right? And what does it actually cost them when they don't?
Erin: I think that's such an interesting question, and I think it's ingrained in us. I broke my back on Friday. I fell down my stairs, and I'm crawling around, blacking out, almost throwing up, almost passing out for about an hour. It took me a really long time to recover, and I had half a moment of, "I think I'm okay," so I crawled into my car and drove to work. I'm like, "I'm going to throw up." I'm a fainter, so I know that means I might pass out. So it's like, do I pull over now, or can I make it the minute to work?
I'm there, and then I'm lying on the floor, and my nurse comes out and is like, "Well, looks like I probably shouldn't start the IV on the first patient." And I'm like, "Yeah, probably not." So I had to cancel. I go in, and I get a CT scan, all these X-rays, and all this stuff, and they're like, "Yeah, you broke three vertebrae in your back." So I call my nurse and say, "Hey, looks like I broke part of my back. Should we cancel clinic for the afternoon?"
Anne: Yeah, maybe. I love that.
Erin: She's like, "Girl, we already did." And I'm like, "Okay, I'm glad you're smarter than me." But that's so dumb.
Anne: That's so dumb. And you drove yourself to the hospital? Don't call anybody.
Erin: My assistant took me at that point, but then she drove me back, and I had to drive back home. But that's the perfect example.
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: You put yourself last. You're not allowed to care about your physical health or certainly your mental health. It's the patient comes first, the team comes first, for years. So we put ourselves last. Then a lot of us become mothers, so there's that part too, where your family comes first and selfless motherhood and all that, which is great. But I think we learn to put ourselves last, and we find so much value in that achievement.
That's one thing that's kind of this reward: look at all the things I've done, and people are proud of me for doing that. It's hard to put it down. So even something as simple as breaking your back isn't enough for it to be an obvious no.
Anne: Yeah, and that's really hard to untangle.
Erin: Even for me, this is my platform. This is my whole platform. I built a whole retreat. I spend hundreds of hours planning this thing and talking on social media about it, and I still think, should I? I don't know. Tomorrow it's like, I have patients. Should I go into work or not? I don't know. I argue with myself. Can I do it? Should I do it? I don't know. I probably shouldn't, but...
Anne: When you say probably shouldn't, there's a clue there, Erin.
Erin: Yeah, exactly.
Anne: But we all wear the Superwoman cape. I think we want to wear it, and we're good at it, and we very seldom ask for help. When we do, it's just like, "Would you please help me?" Or like I love saying, "I hope they come to the retreat." Right? Or, "I hope they..." I'm like, "Look, if you don't come, you're crazy." Exactly. If you don't do these things. But we know this story, and I know you're a speaker, dear. This story is going to be in the front of the room, and you're going to touch a lot of women and men, honestly, with this story, but especially women.
I can remember when I went in for lung surgery years ago. Nobody really knows about it, but I was incapacitated for two months. They thought I had lung cancer.
Erin: Oh, no.
Anne: Long story short, I drove myself to the hospital. I said, "Okay, I'm going to take my Christmas cards. I'm just not feeling good. You guys have fun. Play." I drove myself to the emergency room. I then drove myself to the thoracic surgeon because Tom was out of town. No one came to visit me because he was traveling. I was fine with all that. But we wouldn't let somebody else do that.
Erin: Oh, for sure. I've done the same thing. In the middle of the night, I'm like, "I think I need to go get checked," and I had postpartum preeclampsia, and I just drove myself on in. I'm on my deathbed, but at least I didn't die.
Anne: I know it. We're still alive to tell. I can't wait to hear the talk that you're going to get after you fell down the stairs and broke your back in three places, and you're trying to decide, "Should I go in as an oral surgeon tomorrow?" Oh my God.
Erin: It's hard too because I think there's a level of people-pleasing that gets to this point as well. Think about every time you apply for college, dental school, residency, or the job: I'm the person for the job because I will do what you want me to. I think we've learned to mold ourselves to fit what professionalism means. Do I have to be this?
I was sitting there at the desk, and I quickly did a consult instead of doing the surgery. I said, "I'm so sorry. I just don't feel safe to do this." They were so lovely and said, "Okay, that's what you want." But then I'm sitting at the desk going, "Okay, I should probably go to the ER or the acute care clinic to get checked because I'm really feeling bad." And we're like, "What about, let's call the next patient." Of course, the next patient walks in right at that moment.
Anne: Oh, golly.
Erin: My nurse, lovely, said, "I'm so sorry. Doctor's not feeling well, so she's not going to be able to see you after all today." Of course, she's frustrated: "No one could call me?" They're trying to... Then I'm like, "Hi, I'm the doctor, and I'm so sorry, but I just fell down the stairs, and I'm really hurt, and I'm on my way to the ER. I really wanted to see you. I came planning to see you, but I am so sorry." Luckily, she seemed somewhat understanding, but she was still annoyed. You know that you're calling the patients who are going, "I took today off work."
Anne: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Erin: So did I. I would much rather be here and have made some money, because I'm losing a lot more money than a lot of people taking off work. Also, I just probably paid $5,000 or $6,000 in CT scans and X-rays too. So sir, I would much rather have seen you than this happened. But it's hard when you have those moments. Even when you try to stick up for yourself, it's like, "Oh, all the people will be disappointed, and they'll be mad."
Anne: And you have to be able to sit with that. Then, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I broke my back in three places. Lead with that, Erin.
Erin: Right. Well, now that I know, it's an easier excuse.
Anne: God bless you. Not only are we people-pleasing, but people depend on us.
Erin: That too.
Anne: Because women stir the soup. We make the soup first, then we stir it, and then we put it in the refrigerator.
Erin: Well, my staff member took me, and they were like, "Oh, yeah, we knew, and we're all home." She came to pick me back up, but she'd been home. She's wearing shorts and stuff. She changed out of her scrubs. Then she was like, "Well, we're not getting paid either." And then it's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." She wasn't saying it like someone who was complaining.
Anne: No, she wasn't.
Erin: Right. She was like, "Oh, I'm kind of glad I had the day off. It's fine." But people count on you. The patients count on you. The community counts on you. Your staff counts on you, and so you're carrying a lot.
We shouldn't shame ourselves for feeling the pressure, but I think we need to give ourselves a lot more grace and realize we can only carry so much. When we push too much, if I work too hard with this back, then maybe I can't work even longer. That's not helping people either, so you have to put some boundaries.
Anne: And we have to look for permission. Now you're waiting for the doctor to call you. You know in your heart that you probably shouldn't work with a broken back in three places.
Erin: When you say it like that, yeah.
Anne: But we need permission so that we can stay home and do that. Man, it says a lot about a woman, but also about our profession. People are planning on seeing us. They have made their day. You have to be in the chair to do the work.
Erin: Exactly.
Anne: That's a lot of pressure. But you've built a thriving career as a surgeon. You're very well-known for a surgeon, but at some point, you realized achievement wasn't enough. What was the moment you knew something had to change, other than the day you broke your back?
Erin: When I look back to residency, I remember I would come home from work, and we would've done incredible things, taken someone's face and completely reconstructed it. Someone with trauma, it could be a 20-hour surgery, and they have 300 plates and screws in their head. These are big things. Saving the day, saving lives, saving faces. Then I'd come home, look in the mirror, and realize that my bangs were smooshed in a funny way because of my surgery cap, or there were dishes in the sink, and I would feel lousy.
Anne: Oh, wow.
Erin: I would just feel terrible. I'd be like, but the guys are all there like, "I cured cancer. I'm the boss."
Anne: "I killed it," yeah.
Erin: I didn't feel that way, and at that point, I didn't realize my imposter syndrome. I didn't realize that's a lot of bravado from them, and maybe they didn't really feel that way too. But since everyone else around me seemed to be with this ego, the stereotypical surgeon ego, I thought there was something wrong with me. No matter what I was achieving at work, it didn't make me feel good about who I was as a person. I would still find things that didn't seem enough. There's always that next rung on the ladder. There's always that next thing to check off the list.
Unless you can sit with who you are and love yourself as a person for who you are, you'll never be able to achieve enough to satisfy it. It's an unfillable cup. So you have to learn to love yourself, and I think a lot of that is being authentic and aligned. Make sure that you're making choices that are fully made by you and not just what's dictated to you or what you think you're supposed to do.
It's so easy in residency. Your attendings almost own you. It's like, "Okay, you're on shift." You can't say, "It's my best friend's wedding," if you didn't ask early enough, and maybe you won't get off anyway. The birthdays, the Christmases, the funerals, and all the things that you miss, that you normally never would, but you just did.
So you get used to doing what other people say and expect of you. You mold yourself into a box that you were never meant to fit in, and the next thing you know, you don't recognize yourself anymore. Am I working however many days a week because that works for me and my family? Or am I working that many days a week because that's what you're supposed to do to deserve to be a surgeon and to have taken that place of someone to be trained?
There are just little decisions like that that I see all the time. Even for my retreat, I remember a woman saying to her friend who came, "I came a day early, and I'm so glad that I came." And she said, "Well, I would love to take Thursday off and come, but I could not justify it."
And we were both like, "But you could."
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: But you could. Same thing, like my back. I can justify taking a day for myself. You're allowed to take vacation. You're allowed to step away, but we feel like we're not.
Anne: It's not even a could or a should, right? I guess it's why not? In the long scheme of your life, these little decisions can just eat at you. I'm so glad, again, you're so young that you're learning this. As you learn, you're communicating it, and you hope that someone takes a seed of this or a little nugget and has just a little shift. Sometimes it's just a one-degree shift. What's the big deal of one extra day for you out of the many, many, many days you're going to work in a lifetime?
Erin: Exactly.
Anne: Those are the moments you remember when you get to be my age. "Yeah, that was really great. Thank God I did that. I flew all the way to Austin, and I stayed there an extra day just for me." We have to give ourselves permission instead of asking for permission from other people, don't we?
Erin: Exactly.
Anne: I'm curious, Erin, what made you decide to go into oral surgery? As we were talking, I know Riti Patel is an oral surgeon here in Charlotte, and she comes to retreat. I love Riti. Very, very few women are in oral surgery. I'm sure when they see you, they think, "Oh, you are strong enough to do this." You said you're saving faces. Not only saving faces, you're saving lives.
Erin: Mm-hmm.
Anne: What made you decide to take the route of oral surgery, which I'm sure was extremely difficult?
Erin: I thought it was very interesting, but I didn't think I was a candidate, because as you mentioned in my bio, I kept passing out.
The first time I passed out was in undergrad. I was in a dental exploration class, and this oral surgeon came and was showing a wisdom tooth surgery video. I was like, "I'm not feeling so good." At this point, I didn't know the signs of fainting. So I went to the bathroom thinking I was going to throw up, and I woke up in a puddle of urine, because my bladder doesn't hold when I faint, with my legs straight up in the air and some Good Samaritan trying to administer shock treatment for me.
I got taken away in an ambulance. I'd had a seizure because I hit my head. I went on seizure medication and wasn't allowed to drive for nine months.
Anne: What?
Erin: Then I had this ambulance bill for something like $1,200 that haunted me because it got lost between my parents' mail and my mail. Ten years later in my marriage, my credit score was tanked. This stuck with me for a long time. It was a very formative experience. So I thought, "Well, it's very cool, but clearly I can't do surgery if I'm a fainter." That was the first, but not the only, time that I had similar things.
So I didn't think I was a candidate. Thankfully, some of the oral surgery faculty were like, "That doesn't matter." If they had said it mattered, there's no way I would've thought I could do it. But thankfully they were like, "Oh, you can get past that. No big deal."
We did happen to have a woman on faculty, which is so rare. I remember going to her and being like, "Hey, I want to be a mom, and I want to have a family. Is this even possible?" She was so good about putting her family first and showing that you could do it. That was just really transformative on my journey.
I really liked dentistry. Some people specialize because they hate it. I loved it, but once I got into surgery and took out my first tooth, it lit my fire. I just felt like, "This is for me. This is what I'm good at. This is what I love. If I'm not going to faint, then this is for me." I just really loved it so much, and I loved being able to really be an expert in that area. And I hate dentures, so that's a perk.
Anne: Oh my God, that's so lovely. You're living your calling through your surgery, and also it's broader than that. All of your experience as a young woman, as a mom, a wife, and a daughter. I know about the passing of your beautiful dad. You take all that with you now to be that person for somebody else who might be struggling, which you have to have a little something underneath you to be able to do. It's beautiful that you'll be able to share that with women who come to your retreat that you're planning. I'm so proud of you, so proud of you.
What do most women doctors and dentists, because you are definitely a doctor of the oral cavity, get wrong about visibility in social media? I think you can point back to what you just went through with Maxim and in general, but what's the big deal? What do they get wrong?
Erin: A few things. I think you think you have to have it all together to show up. If you haven't got it all figured out, you're not the right person.
One thing I love about social media is that in academics, it's so hierarchical. In the past, how did you get clout or authority in academics? Through positions, through research papers, through how much you can publish or be speaking on the academic stage. You had to have gone through the rungs and risen up from the different levels of professor.
Anne: And know the right people.
Erin: Exactly.
Anne: And be politically correct and all of those other things.
Erin: Exactly. So you had to be granted authority. Social media allows you to take that authority for yourself. That sounds maybe a little bold, but it's been very evident to me just even the last couple of days because I've been speaking up a little bit more, calling out some behaviors in dentistry that I feel are toxic. I made a very bold video, bold even for me, where I said something very inflammatory. It was like, "Our patients are right. Dentists suck."
The whole point was, I'm always standing up for dentistry, and when you see these things online and people are like, "Dentists are all scammers," that's all I see. That's my algorithm. It's what it brings to me. It's really depressing, and I'm always wanting to be the first one to be like, "No, they don't." But you just have to understand that there's just enough of us who are scammers or big jerks, who are doing junky stuff, that the rest of us have to dig out of that hole. I was just trying to call that out.
I honestly thought I was going to get a ton of backlash from that. I was like, "This is really risky, and if people don't take this the right way, it could be really bad, but I feel like it's important to say." I was surprised that 99% of the comments were people like, "Thank you for saying that." Then some of the things they were saying were like, "Why are these people even arguing with one of the biggest experts in the field?"
Anne: Wow.
Erin: I'm like, "Are you talking about me?" Or "our famous friend," or they're using these terms to describe me that make me think, "Wait, who are you talking about? Oh, you're talking about me?"
To me, that was just this example of how it gives us the opportunity to build that trust and that relationship, whether it's with your peers or the community. It's such a missed opportunity, and there's a lot of judgment. I think most doctors look at it as cringe. "It's so cringey." When I got on social media, my marketing team told me to, but my partner was like, "Ew, I don't think you should be doing that. That just opens you up to so much." Yes, there is some risk to it, but there are so many opportunities that have come.
The biggest opportunity I think people are missing is that you don't have to be viral to be valuable. You don't have to have a million followers to have an impact. Even in your own community, when a patient comes in and sits in my chair and says, "Hey, I watch your TikTok videos," they already know me. They think we're friends because that parasocial relationship is real. They've seen me talk as an expert, that I know what I'm talking about, that I have a measured response, that I'm compassionate. So when they come, how much time do I have to spend building rapport? I already did that.
Anne: Yeah.
Erin: They're already fresh and ready. If it's all about satisfaction, good reviews, and treatment acceptance, we're a mile ahead already.
There are so many opportunities. That, to me, is the biggest thing. But then there are unexpected things, like this stupid contest, or all of a sudden, I'm getting people asking me to be an advisor on their board, or they're sending me products and wanting to give me money, or this retreat. I couldn't have built this retreat without social media. My best friends now are probably people I've met online. It's opened up so much for me, and I'm not even super monetizing or making any significant money. It's a big time suck, and I'm losing money on all the platforms I'm paying for at this point, but I've learned and grown and had so many opportunities given to me that I just never could have imagined.
Anne: You're using your talents, because when you get on, first of all, you're very authentic. You see that on social media. You can see that. You can feel that. So the trust that you're building, like we say, keep doing you, Erin, because whatever you're doing is working. You're right, a lot of times we know that if we see somebody in person that we've seen on social media, we're not sure if we've met them in person or not.
If we get 99% good stuff, even I'll take 95% because everyone's going to have a hater. But 95% is better than being in your own little circle with a lampshade on your head or your bushel basket on your head and not being your true self. You were called to this platform for reasons. Not everybody's called, not everybody's successful, but you're doing it, and you're doing a great job.
As women, we have to quit wondering if we're doing... When do you quit wondering if it's going over, right? To knowing. That's why you need your DeWs, your women at your retreat. That's why we need each other. We like our men. I think it's really hard to do things when you don't have that support, especially if you're married, if you don't have the support from a spouse or a partner. Men, if you're listening to this, support us. We're just trying to do what we feel is right and just and help people. Honestly, almost every woman I know is always trying to help people get from point A to point B in a very selfless way.
Especially in dentistry. You wouldn't go through all of that. It's not easy. How many years did you study from bachelor's all the way through to graduation of oral surgery and your internship or residency?
Erin: It was like 13, I think.
Anne: Thirteen years. Nobody does that unless they really want to help. I also think this, and we know this about women, it's always more than money.
Erin: Oh, yeah.
Anne: Money's always at the bottom. Like you were saying, I hate to sell, until you realize that it is so priceless what you have to offer. I think that's something that we all have to come around to. For us, for DeW, for 10 years, yeah, it's priceless. Erin, I hope this helps you with your retreat. You're close, because we still have lots of seats open, but we know we will sell out. I know that whoever is in the room is supposed to be there, and whoever is not is supposed to not be there. I believe that with all my heart, because we open up our hearts, we open up our lives. All we're trying to do is serve in the way that we've been called to do. I think women are just amazing. I really do.
Erin: They are. We are, yes.
Anne: We are strong.
Erin: I agree.
Anne: We are strong. Well, you are certainly strong. I'm telling you, if anybody is listening to this and would like to weigh in on whether Erin... We should have a poll. Should Erin go to work tomorrow?
Erin: Yes, please let me know because I'm still battling on it.
Anne: She's still battling, and she's got to get permission from her doctor, from the back doctor and all the CT scans, about whether it's going to hurt or hinder her for a lifetime of oral surgery. Because we know DeWs don't retire. We love it. We start and don't stop until the body lets out, and let's hope it doesn't happen next week, Erin.
Erin: Yes.
Anne: Okay?
Erin: I'm trying.
Anne: We will be thinking of you. If anybody's listening to this and wants a megastar now, she was just this close to being on the cover of Maxim and winning that because of all the people who love her and voted for her. If you would like Erin to help you with whatever you're doing, whether it's getting a product to market or being lifted up through her retreat, or just her magic, how do we get in touch with you?
Erin: Probably the easiest way to find me is on social media. I'm most active on Instagram right now, @drerinsheffield. You can also find me on the Resting Stitch Face podcast, which is everywhere you listen to podcasts, or doctorsallin.com.
Anne: Doctorsallin.com. This will all be in our show notes. I love you. You're just absolutely fabulous. I'm so glad. Thank you. Shout out to Jessica Emory for encouraging you to come to DeW.
At the retreat I was just at, it was the invitation. An invitation. So if anyone has been to your retreat or been to our retreat, invite someone who you know will get something out of it. Don't keep it to yourself, ladies, because together, we are so much stronger, and we do small things with great love.
Erin, I loved this time together. I'm glad I got to see you. I'm definitely going to be checking in on you late into the week. I'll pray for discernment on your part.
Erin: Yes. Thank you.
Anne: Because you're an activator. You're like, "Damn it, I'm going to..." Excuse my language.
Erin: I know.
Anne: "I'm going. I can do it." No, I will pray for discernment for you.
Erin: Strategic. I'm sure if I just take time off today and rest, I'll be able to make it work.
Anne: Lucky for me, strategic doesn't even show up on my strengths until number 11, okay? So I'm never thinking. I'm always doing. Most importantly, everyone who's listening to us today, remember to just keep doing you. Thank you, Erin, for being with me. You're an absolute doll. I can't wait to see you in November, if not before.
Erin: Thank you. Thank you so much.
